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Hunting
with "Deadeye Dick" Cheney
Co President Dick Cheney, hunting with Austin attorney
Harry Whittington
DICK: Harry, I tell you, this is great.
HARRY: It sure is. Those little shit quail don't have
no chance against us.
DICK: It's good to get out. Dubya thinks he is charge
and likes to rub it in. I just needed to get away from all that.
HARRY: That so?
DICK: It frosts me, thinking about that twerp getting
elected twice, and I can't get elected dogcatcher next time around.
HARRY: Well, it's too late. You should have made your
move in the first term, been in place to run in 04. The Dems didn't
have anyone to run against us, and we had the voting machines all set
to give it to us.
DICK: I still have one plan up my sleeve. I can get
into the White House and ramp up the war so I get put back in office
in 08?
HARRY: A plan, huh? You think Dubya is going to run
off or something? Fat chance. Okay, I'm game. What's your plan?
DICK: Want me to show you?
HARRY: Yup, boy. Bring it on!
DICK (Laughing maniacally): BAMMM!
Nixon,
Haldeman, and Ziegler
July 5, 1971: 4:03 P.M., Oval Office Conversation
#537-4; cassette #876
NIXON: Jewish families are close, but there's this strange
malignancy that seems to creep among them -- radicalism. I can imagine
how the fact that Ellsberg is in this must really tear a fella like
Henry to pieces -- or Garment. Just like the Rosenbergs and all that.
It just has to kill them. I feel horrible about it.
ZIEGLER: Could make up an English name.
HALDEMAN: ... Rosenstein could change his name. ...
[general laughter]
ZIEGLER: It is right. It's always an "Ellsberg."
NIXON: Every one's a Jew. Ellsberg's a Jew. Halperin's
a Jew.
HALDEMAN: Gelb's a Jew.
NIXON: But there are [unclear] -- Hiss was not a Jew.
Very interesting thing. So few of those who engage in espionage -- are
Negroes. ... In fact, very few of them become Communists. If they do,
they like, they get into Angela Davis -- they're more the capitalist
type. And they throw bombs and this and that. But the Negroes. -- have
you ever noticed? ... Any Negro spies?
HALDEMAN: Not intellectual enough, not smart enough...
not smart enough to be spies.
NIXON: The Jews -- the Jews are, are born spies. You
notice how many of them are just in up to their necks?
HALDEMAN: A basic deviousness.
Senate
Democrats, in a sauna:
January 2006, discussing upcoming Alito hearings
SENATOR KENNEDY: So....any ideas on how to derail this
Alito character?
SENATOR FEINGOLD: I dunno...it's going to be tough.
Specter seems to have a magic bullet that will give him a ride right
into that slot.
KENNEDY: Thats not funny!
FEINGOLD: Well the guy is qualified. This won't be like
that Bush harpie from Dallas.
SENATOR SCHUMER: I can still smell the bourbon on her
breath....
KENNEDY: Thats not funny!
SENATOR FEINSTEIN: Harriet! Honey doll! Come to Bush
Daddy!
KENNEDY: Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
SENATOR BYRD: Okay, we got some things. Our boys found
out Alito was joined up with a club that did not want to let coloreds
into Princeton.
SCHUMER: Yeah, we can use that.
BYRD: Terrible. Not allowing coloreds into...
FEINSTEIN: Teddy! Put your towel back on!
KENNEDY: Come to daddy! HIC! URP!
FEINGOLD: Anything else?
SCHUMER: Well we can nail him on it, they were like
an old boys club and did not allow women in.
KENNEDY: That's awful! HIC! How could we let him hold
office? Not allowing women.....HIC!
FEINSTEIN: Teddy! Last warning...
KENNEDY: ERRRRR.....
SCHUMER: Alright. It's not much. But if we can flog
it hard enough we can get them to back down, just wear them down.
KENNEDY: Uhhhh...I don't feel good.....BRREEEAAAAAHHHRRRRP!
RALLLLLPH!
FEINSTEIN: Teddy! Eeewww! Now we got to get that pickaninny
maid to clean up after you...
BYRD: Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Bush
and Karl Rove:
Late August, 2005, as Katrina bears down on New Orleans
GB: Karl, look at that big storm. It might hurt some
of our refineries.
KR: Awww, Georgie it might. But don't worry. We can
doctor up some funds to cover it. It's great "homeland security" to
have our energy assets in operation.
GB: Hehehehe.....you said "assets"! Uhhh...what 'bout
all those people living down there?
KR: They'll have to fend for themselves.
GB: Will they be okay? I used to go drinking in New
Orleans ya know. Man I used to get so bombed, don't remember half of
it.....'cept one time I woke up in bed with some fella...and I had to
wear his pants because I couldn't find mine anywhere...
KR: Uhhh, yeah...okay look Georgie, these recent drinking
binges you've been having, we're gonna have to dry you out. Some of
the Dems have already figured out what "going to Crawford" really means,
and it's only a matter of time until someone spills it, I mean...someone
who we don't have any shit on to keep them shut up.
GB: Well everything....it's been so tough lately, everything
so shot to hell.
KR: I told you, don't worry. I got it under control.
We can serve up shit and convince them it's steak dinner. Now here's
the deal. We can use this storm. I got a plan.
GB: Really? You get some of our investors already set
up to clean up the mess?
KR: Yeah, got that covered, and better. We are going
to be ridding ourselves of some...uhhh...useless assets. There are shitloads
of people down there who are a drain on the economy. And now we have
a chance to do something about it. We don't have to spray them with
shit, lock 'em up or nothing. We just let nature take its course, just
like flushing those turds out to sea. That'll teach them to mooch around
and be useless!
GB: Hehehehehehe......damn useless eaters! Daddy told
me about useless folks.
KR: We got our guys in FEMA, they're going to seal it
off for a week, not let any help get in. Don't have to really whack
anyone, just let nature take its course and do the right thing. So we
make a lot of money on the front end, and cut a lot of expenses on the
back end. Sweet!
GB: Hehehehe......Karl, you have always been the smartest
guy I have ever known....
KR: Uhhhh......yeah. Now Georgie, you're gonna have
to finish that bottle of Jim Beam, and no more! We got to dry you out......
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