COLUMNS
Home
The Sky is Falling
Code Pink
Homeland Insecurity
Fire & Brimstone
Occupied Kalifornia
Parallel Universe
Sci Tech
Human Zoo

Worksafe Color Codes

SPONSORS

Free Stuff
Sin City
rockbobster.com
Yuni

Email Us

Overdue Library Books Returned Half Century Later

PHOENIX -- A high school librarian in Phoenix says a former student at the school returned two overdue books checked out 51 years ago along with a $1,000 money order to cover the fines.

Camelback High School librarian Georgette Bordine says the two Audubon Society books checked out in 1959 and the money order were sent by someone who wanted to remain anonymous.

Bordine says the letter explained that the borrower's family moved to another state and the books were mistakenly packed. More

Worldwide Slump Makes Nigeria's Online Scammers Work That Much Harder

LAGOS, Nigeria -- Online swindling takes dedication even in the best of times, the scammer said earnestly.

The spinal cord aches from sitting at a desk. The eyes itch from staring at a computer. The heart thumps from drinking bitter cola to stay awake for chats with Americans in faraway time zones. The wallet shrinks from buying potions that supposedly compel the Americans to pay.

Succeeding in the midst of a worldwide economic meltdown? That, he said, takes even firmer resolve.

"We are working harder. The financial crisis is not making it easy for them over there," said Banjo, 24, speaking about Americans, whose trust he has won and whose money he has fleeced, via his Dell laptop. "They don't have money. And the money they don't have, we want."

Banjo is a polite young man in a button-down shirt, and he is the sort of guy on the other end of that block-lettered missive requesting your "URGENT ASSISTANCE" in transferring millions of dollars. He is the sort who made Nigeria infamous for cyberscams, which experts say are increasing in these tough times. More

Look Ma, No Brakes!

What a profile they cut, slicing through the city: gorgeous, exotic, dangerous. You see them parked like emaciated steeds outside the coolest clubs.

They don't make much sense, yet for one more fleeting season at least, they are the rage in certain circles. Sort of dumb and super hip: the twin characteristics of many things in life.

We are talking about a bicycle. A very special kind of road bicycle, called a fixed-gear bike, or fixie for short.

A fixie has one speed, which makes it difficult to pedal uphill. A classic fixie has no brakes, which makes it difficult to slow on the downhill.

A fixie has no freewheel, the part that makes coasting possible. Instead, the chain directly drives the rotation of the rear wheel, which means the pedals always turn while the bike moves. More

CVS drops Obama Chia pets

CVS/Pharmacy said this week that it won't be selling the popular Chia pets depicting President Barack Obama anymore, becoming the second major franchise to drop the product.

Joe Pedott, the owner of the Chia franchise, said he's baffled by the drugstore chain's decision.

Walgreens removed the terra cotta heads in April after some complained that the product was racially insensitive. The issue made the round of blogs, talk radio and TV over the summer.

Walgreens' decision cost him millions of dollars, Pedott said. Nevertheless, the product's popularity has consistently grown -- especially after the controversy, he said.

"I can't think of any reason a store like CVS would want to stop selling it," he said Wednesday. More

How the Food Industry Has Made Bacon a Weapon of Mass Destruction

Among my fondest childhood memories is savoring a strip of perfectly cooked bacon that had just been dragged through a puddle of maple syrup. It was an illicit pleasure; varnishing the fatty, salty, smoky bacon with sweet arboreal sap felt taboo. How could such simple ingredients produce such riotous flavors?

That was then. Today, you don't need to tax yourself applying syrup to bacon -- McDonald's does it for you with the McGriddle. It conveniently takes an egg, American cheese and pork and nestles it between pancakelike biscuits suffused with genuine fake-maple-syrup flavor.

The McGriddle is just one moment in an era of extreme food combinations -- a moment in which bacon plays a starring role, from high cuisine to low. More

Cats Do Control Humans, Study Finds

If you've ever wondered who's in control, you or your cat, a new study points to the obvious. It's your cat.

Household cats exercise this control with a certain type of urgent-sounding, high-pitched meow, according to the findings.

This meow is actually a purr mixed with a high-pitched cry. While people usually think of cat purring as a sign of happiness, some cats make this purr-cry sound when they want to be fed. The study showed that humans find these mixed calls annoying and difficult to ignore.

"The embedding of a cry within a call that we normally associate with contentment is quite a subtle means of eliciting a response," said Karen McComb of the University of Sussex. "Solicitation purring is probably more acceptable to humans than overt meowing, which is likely to get cats ejected from the bedroom." More

10 Quirky Economic Indicators

Everyone is scrambling to get their fingers on the pulse of the economy. When will it turn around? Have we seen the worst? The answers may not be as elusive as you might think.

You’ll find all sorts of clues in everyday life to help determine where the economy really stands. The racks of dry cleaners, for instance, may seem a bit more cluttered these days, and it’s true—many people are stalling an extra week before shelling out to pick up their clothes. And to paraphrase a famous quote from other troubled times, don’t shoot back into the market until you see the whites of their eyelids: Eyeliner sales have surged during the recession.

When times get tough, people go to the movies. Box-office sales have increased in all of the last five recession years. According to the National Association of Theatre Owners, the number of movie tickets sold in the first quarter of 2009 increased more than 9% from last year. More

Amsterdam considering bank help -- for prostitutes

Amsterdam city council is turning its attention to a pressing problem for one of the city's key business sectors -- banking and credit for prostitutes who can't get accounts from mainstream institutions.

The city's red light district is famed the world over for its women in tiny windows and even tinier clothing, but despite the trade being legal, many banks shy away from taking the ladies on as customers.

As part of the city's "Project 1012" to remake the De Wallen neighborhood, which includes the sex district, the city council has been asked to find a way to help bordello owners and sex workers gain more access to banks.

"Up until now, it's been very difficult for people in the sex industry to get credit with the banks," a city council spokesman said on Friday. "For them it is a hazard that they can not get regular credit or help or mortgages or anything from a regular bank." More

Astronaut says we're not alone

Apollo 14 astronaut Edgar D. Mitchell, the sixth man ever to walk on the moon, has a message for all citizens of Earth: We are not alone.

"We are being visited," the 79-year-old grandfatherly "spacefarer" told 100 or so UFOlogists gathered at a National Press Club conference called by the Paradigm Research Group (motto: "It's not about lights in the sky; it's about lies on the ground").

"It is now time to put away this embargo of truth about the alien presence," said the astronaut who made the longest moonwalk in history. "I call upon our government to open up ... and become a part of this planetary community that is now trying to take our proper role as a spacefaring civilization." More

Two Buck Chuck Wins Award

Vin d'Expensive? Meritage Snooty? If that's the kind of name you were thinking would grace a winner of the California State Fair Commercial Wine Competition, get ready for a shock.

Try "Two-Buck Chuck," more formally Charles Shaw, the brand beloved of bargain but palate-sensitive wine shoppers. It's sold by Bronco Wine Co. exclusively through Trader Joe's.

Shaw's California Chardonnay took first place for Best Chardonnay from California. To some in the clubby California wine community, that must seem like a Michelin's Red Guide giving three stars to a roadside hamburger stand. More

Spain's Bullet Train Changes Nation -- and Fast

CIUDAD REAL, Spain -- To sell his vision of a high-speed train network to the American public, President Barack Obama this week cited Spain, a country most people don't associate with futuristic bullet trains.

Yet the country is on track to bypass France and Japan to have the world's biggest network of ultrafast trains by the end of next year, figures from the International Union of Railways and the Spanish government show.

The growth of the Alta Velocidad Española, or AVE, high-speed rail network is having a profound effect on life in Spain. Many Spaniards are fiercely attached to their home regions and studies show they are unusually reluctant to live or even travel elsewhere.

But those centuries-old habits are starting to change as Spain stitches its disparate regions together with a €100 billion ($130 billion) system of bullet trains designed to traverse the countryside at up to 218 miles an hour.. More

'Financial Crisis Created By White People With Blue Eyes'

Brazil's President, while meeting Gordon Brown, has said the global financial crisis was caused by "white people with blue eyes".

Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva made the comments after talks with the Prime Minister to try to forge a global consensus on how to save the worldwide economy. Sky News' Joey Jones said it was an "uncomfortable" moment for Mr Brown.

"The President does not mind using fairly flamboyant language. He likes to give extensive answers to journalists.But some of it was rather awkward for the Prime Minister, who was standing there listening to the President. More

Ryanair mulls charge for toilets

Irish budget airline Ryanair has said it is considering charging passengers for using the toilet while flying.

Chief executive Michael O'Leary told the BBC that the Dublin-based carrier was looking at maybe installing a "coin slot on the toilet door".

Consumer group Which? said the airline was putting "profit before passengers".

Ryanair's PR chief Steven McNamara later played down the idea, saying: "I don't think it's going to happen in the foreseeable future".

"Will it happen long-term, I'm not really sure," he said. More

Being dead a big pain for Cottonwood woman

Kathrine Neubauer was declared dead several months ago. She's had nothing but trouble ever since. The 81-year-old Cottonwood resident lost her Social Security benefits. She's been unable to get bank loans or financing. Often, she can't even make common purchases.

"It's getting annoying and embarrassing," Neubauer said. "When I go to buy something, I don't know whether or not I am going to be dead." Neubauer's partner died three years ago.

Their finances were comingled in a trust, she said. In October, the Social Security Administration cut Neubauer's benefits, believing she had died with her partner. More

Pranks Involving Electronic Road Signs Stir Worry

Pranksters in at least three states are messing with electronic road signs meant to warn motorists of possible traffic problems by putting drivers on notice about Nazi zombies and raptors. And highway safety officials aren't amused.

The latest breach came Tuesday during the morning rush hour near Collinsville, Ill., where hackers changed a sign along southbound Interstate 255 to read, "DAILY LANE CLOSURES DUE TO ZOMBIES."

A day earlier in Indiana's Hamilton County, the electronic message on a board in Carmel's construction zone warned drivers of "RAPTORS AHEAD — CAUTION." And signs in Austin, Texas, recently flashed: "NAZI ZOMBIES! RUN!!!" and "ZOMBIES IN AREA! RUN." More

MP3 player guides rescuers to lost tourists

ZURICH - The light from an MP3 player saved two lost tourists from a chilly night stuck out in the snowy Swiss mountains, rescue authorities said Saturday.

The two -- a skier and snowboarder, both from France -- had got lost late in the day Friday outside marked runs near the resort of Savognin in southeast Switzerland, said Gery Baumann, spokesman for mountain rescue service Rega.

They were able to alert authorities using a mobile phone, but it then ran out of battery power, Baumann said. "The two winter sports enthusiasts were found by the crew of the Rega helicopter shortly after midnight -- thanks to the faint light of their MP3 player," he said. More

One artist's determination brings historic Native masks home for a visit

Helen Simeonoff doesn't look like Indiana Jones. She's bespectacled, quiet-spoken, not given to sudden moves and will turn 67 this month. Yet this smallish Sugpiaq woman from Kodiak is now receiving credit for discovering -- insofar as most Alaskans are concerned -- one of the most important troves of old art from her Native region.

She found it in France, among the towers of a 13th-century fort. Hundreds of items. Bowls, spears, bidarkas. And what may be the largest collection in existence of aged dance masks, witnesses to the era before Russian hunters claimed the area for the czar and Sugpiaq ways began to fade.

Her mind reeled as she stood among the artifacts, she said, the first Sugpiaq to view them in more than a century.

"I saw a beaded headdress from my mother's village of Old Afognak," she said. "And I thought, 'It could have been one of my ancestors who made that.' ". More

Santa is coming - to a Pub

It is the season to be jolly and Christmas revellers around the world don't need to be told twice. As Christmas fast approaches, the cheer has started flowing.

Thousands of Santas across USA who take part in the Running of the Santas pub crawl each year are just one example of the fun to be had when the tinsel is out.

Crowds of thirsty guys and girls dressed like Santa charge through towns drinking as much as they can in the name of raising money to help out children with cancer.

But the antics have raised the bushy white eyebrows of those in the Santa know.

Tim Connaghan, founder of the International University of Santa Claus, while talking about the pub crawl that he was all for raising money for charity, but said Santa’s image needed to be respected. More

Arabs find a hero in Iraqi shoe thrower

BAGHDAD — Calling someone the "son of a shoe" is one of the worst insults in Iraq. But the lowly shoe and the Iraqi who threw both of his at President George W. Bush, with widely admired aim, were embraced around the Arab world Monday as symbols of rage at a still unpopular war.

In Saudi Arabia, a newspaper reported that a man had offered $10 million to buy just one of what has almost certainly become the world's most famous pair of black dress shoes.

A daughter of Libyan leader Moammar Khadafy reportedly awarded the shoe thrower, Muntadar al-Zeidi, a 29-year-old journalist, a medal of courage.

In the Baghdad neighborhood of Sadr City, people calling for an immediate U.S. withdrawal removed their footwear and placed the shoes and sandals at the end of long poles, waving them high in the air. And in the southern Iraqi city of Najaf, people threw their shoes at a passing U.S. convoy. More

Births fueling Hispanic growth

Births, not immigration, now account for most of the growth in the nation's Hispanic population, a distinct reversal of trends of the past 30 years.

The Hispanic baby boom is transforming the demographics of small-town America in a dramatic way. Some rural counties where the population had been shrinking and aging are growing because of Hispanic immigration and births and now must provide services for the young.

"In all of the uproar over immigration, this is getting missed," says Kenneth Johnson, demographer at the University of New Hampshire's Carsey Institute. "All the focus is on immigration, immigration, immigration. At some point, it's not. It's natural increase."

This natural increase — more births than deaths — is accelerating among Hispanics in the USA because they are younger than the U.S. population as a whole. Their median age is 27.4, compared with 37.9 overall, 40.8 for whites, 35.4 for Asians and 31.1 for blacks. More

Is it Illegal to Drink and Vote?

For a brief moment recently, Albuquerque, N.M., police officers wondered if it was illegal to drink and vote. Why? A woman had passed out while casting her ballot at an early-voting site.

Bernalillo County Clerk Maggie Toulouse Oliver doesn't know if the woman completed her ballot — she was subsequently transported by ambulance to a local hospital, which has no record of admitting her — but said it will be counted.

Poll workers called police after the woman began yelling and screaming at them. When the officers arrived, she had lost consciousness with a bottle of vodka tucked into her waistband.

A little checking determined that it was not illegal to be drunk when casting a ballot, but election laws do prohibit liquor at voting sites and creating a disturbance. Charges have not been filed. More

Portal to mythical Mayan underworld found in Mexico

MEXICO CITY - Mexican archeologists have discovered a maze of stone temples in underground caves, some submerged in water and containing human bones, which ancient Mayans believed was a portal where dead souls entered the underworld.

Clad in scuba gear and edging through narrow tunnels, researchers discovered the stone ruins of eleven sacred temples and what could be the remains of human sacrifices at the site in the Yucatan Peninsula.

Archeologists say Mayans believed the underground complex of water-filled caves leading into dry chambers -- including an underground road stretching some 330 feet -- was the path to a mythical underworld, known as Xibalba.

According to an ancient Mayan scripture, the Popol Vuh, the route was filled with obstacles, including rivers filled with scorpions, blood and pus and houses shrouded in darkness or swarming with shrieking bats, Guillermo de Anda, one of the lead investigators at the site, said on Thursday. More

US Government owes Indians $455 million in trust case

A federal judge ruled that American Indian plaintiffs are entitled to $455 million in a long-running trust case, a fraction of the $47 billion they wanted.

But U.S. District Judge James Robertson did not say how the government should award the money, writing that his opinion "leaves for another day the question of how and to whom the award should be distributed."

Robertson's final number is close to government estimates and far from the billions sought by plaintiffs in the 12-year trial. The lawsuit — filed on behalf of a half-million American Indians and their heirs — claims they were swindled out of billions of dollars in oil, gas, grazing, timber and other royalties overseen by the Interior Department since 1887. More

Wal-Mart Gets a New Logo: Resembles a Sphincter

Something's up at Wal-Mart. Visitors to walmart.com will notice that the logo consumers have become accustomed to over the past 17 years is gone. Gone, too, are the sharp, uppercase letters spelling out the name of the Bentonville (Ark.) company and the pointy star that served as a hyphen. In its place: a new logo made up of rounded, lowercase characters. The hyphen has disappeared. And in place of the star is a symbol that resembles a sunburst or flower. It appears after the "Walmart" name, like an asterisk begging for a footnote.

On June 30, Wal-Mart officially unveiled the new logo, issuing a statement that in the fall, "Walmart's U.S. locations will update store logos as part of an ongoing evolution of its overall brand." The updated logo made its start online on July 1, although the old logo still appears on the site of Wal-Mart's parent company, walmartstores.com. More

Rat sales soar as Vietnam seeks cheaper meats

FARMERS in Kandal province have seen skyrocketing profits from exports of rat meat to neighbouring Vietnam, where cheap meat is in rising demand.

Exports have reached 10 tonnes per month, Governor Ly Marong said, with profits rising to as much as US$15,000 per month in Kandal's Kho Thom district.

"In addition to exports, local people are buying rat meat more than ever before," he said. "Grilled rat meat, or spicy, fried meat with basil, is delicious."

Live rats sell for about 6,000 to 6,500 riels per kilogram in Vietnam's Long Bin market, across the border from Kandal province, but traders purchase rats from Cambodian farmers for about 4,500 to 5,000 riels per kilogram.

The governor said that because heavy rains flood forest areas, rats swarm to nearby farms. High inflation and the rising cost of other meats - as high as 20 percent in recent months - have led farmers to harvest the rats for their own use and for export. More

Instant-Messagers Really Are About Six Degrees from Kevin Bacon

Turns out, it is a small world.

The "small world theory," embodied in the old saw that there are just "six degrees of separation" between any two strangers on Earth, has been largely corroborated by a massive study of electronic communication.

With records of 30 billion electronic conversations among 180 million people from around the world, researchers have concluded that any two people on average are distanced by just 6.6 degrees of separation, meaning that they could be linked by a string of seven or fewer acquaintances.

The database covered all of the Microsoft Messenger instant-messaging network in June 2006, or roughly half the world's instant-messaging traffic at that time, researchers said. More

Miracle fruit: A tiny berry that tricks the tongue

The world is getting fatter. One billion people are overweight, and 300 million of those are clinically obese.

The search is always on for replacements for those things that, eaten in excess, make us obese - fatty and sugary foods. There is no miracle pill that can replace either. Nearly four decades ago one man came close to providing a tablet that could reduce our love of sugar. In the 1960s, Robert Harvey, a biomedical postgraduate student, encountered the miracle berry, a fruit from west Africa which turns sour tastes to sweet.

"You can eat a berry and then bite into a lemon," says Harvey. "It becomes not only sweeter, but it will be the best lemon you've tasted in your life."

But Harvey's sweet dream of making the world healthier came to an abrupt end. On the eve of the launch in 1974, the US Food and Drugs Administration unexpectedly turned against the product.

Legal advice and contact with the FDA had led Harvey to believe that the extract from the berry would be allowed under the classification "generally recognised as safe". Having been eaten before meals for centuries in west Africa, without anecdotal reports of problems, it could be assumed not to be harmful. But the FDA decided it would be considered as an additive which required several years more testing. In the poor economic climate of 1974, this could not be funded and the company folded. More

We Lost George Carlin!

The brilliant comic and social commentator George Carlin has gone on, and left behind all of his stuff.

Carlin, who made his name in the United States in the 1970s as a hip counterculture comedian in the tradition of Lenny Bruce, has died of heart failure in California. He was 71. He won four Grammy Awards for best spoken comedy album and was nominated for five Emmys.

An excellent mimic, he started his career as a relatively conventional comedian in the 1960s before becoming bored with what he called "wearing the dumb tuxedo and entertaining middle-class morons". He turned his attention to the satirical treatment of political and social issues - liberally laced with four-letter words in his "Seven Words You Can Never Say On TV" routine - and found a new lease on life.says. More

George Carlin audio clips 2:45

Isolated tribe spotted in Brazil

One of South America's few remaining uncontacted indigenous tribes has been spotted and photographed on the border between Brazil and Peru.

The Brazilian government says it took the images to prove the tribe exists and help protect its land.

The pictures, taken from an aeroplane, show red-painted tribe members brandishing bows and arrows.

More than half the world's 100 uncontacted tribes live in Brazil or Peru, Survival International says.

Stephen Corry, the director of the group - which supports tribal people around the world - said such tribes would "soon be made extinct" if their land was not protected. More

Subway Bans Homeschooled Kids from Essay Contest

Subway -- the multi-national fast-food sub-shop giant -- has shot themselves in the foot. Again. The goal of their latest promotion was to win the loyalty of parents of grade school-aged kids -- to increase market share, revenue and profits. It was supposed to be a simple exercise in business marketing and promotion.

The outcome, however, was far different. By banning homeschooled kids -- children who are educated at home, as an alternative to public schooling -- Subway has ignited a firestorm of opposition from a vocal segment of the marketplace. Homeschoolers, offended by the ban, spontaneously -- and almost literally overnight -- organized a national Subway boycott that already has Subway's corporate spokesman hunkering down. All this happened over a holiday weekend, a time when people usually have better things to do. Imagine the impact today when millions of homeschooling parents are back in front of their computers, and discover what Subway has done to them. More

Swiss scientist who brought the world LSD takes his final trip

ALBERT Hofmann, the Swiss chemist who discovered LSD and thereby gave the psychedelic generation the pharmaceutical vehicle to turn on, tune in and drop out, has died. He was 102.

Hofmann, who died on Tuesday at his home in Basel, also identified and synthesised the active ingredients of peyote mushrooms and a Mexican psychoactive plant called ololiuqui. He developed at least three related, non-psychoactive compounds that became widely used in medicine.

Those other feats would have been little remembered, however, had he not accidentally got a trace amount of an experimental compound called lysergic acid diethylamide on his fingertips and taken the world's first acid trip.

Hofmann was a talented synthetic chemist working in the Basel research centre of Sandoz Laboratories in the 1930s when he began studying the chemistry of ergot, a fungus that grows on rye, barley and other plants. Although ergot is poisonous, midwives had for centuries used a crude extract to induce labour in pregnant women. Researchers in the US had recently identified the primary active ingredient of ergot, a chemical called lysergic acid. Hofmann, having devised a technique to make a series of derivatives of lysergic acid called amides, began systematically looking for medically useful compounds. More

Raped by lookalike wines

Energy executive and wine collector William Koch has taken his personal crusade to clean up the collectible wine business to the Windy City, filing a lawsuit on Friday that accuses both the Chicago Wine Company and Julienne Importing of selling him counterfeit wine.

Koch claims that from 1987 to 1990, the Chicago Wine Company, a retailer and auction house, sold him 15 bottles of counterfeit wine for $150,000, including a bottle of 1787 Château Branne Mouton (now Mouton-Rothschild) that may have been owned by Thomas Jefferson. The lawsuit also alleges that 14 bottles of wine Koch purchased for $63,000, which were imported by Julienne and sold by the Chicago Wine Company and other retailers, are also counterfeit. Ironically, Koch was a major investor in the Chicago Wine Company for seven years.

"We have been going through our cellar with our experts and we have found a lot of counterfeits sold via Chicago Wine Company," said Brad Goldstein, Koch's spokesman. "They told us they would cooperate on getting to the sources for these bogus bottles but when push came to shove they provided very little—we were left with no other option." More

New way to hike credit card rates

When the House Financial Services Committee meets again next week to discuss credit card reforms, they'll have something else to talk about -- a new way for credit card firms to raise your interest rate.

Discover announced recently that there's a new penalty for cardholders who exceed their credit limit, in addition to the $39 fee -- a higher interest rate.

Many consumers might not even realize that they can exceed their credit limit, and in fact the term has largely become meaningless. Card issuers give consumers what some call a "nominal limit," which is the credit limit printed on monthly bills. But nearly all allow consumers to exceed that limit by 10 percent or more (precisely how much is a secret), and then charge fees of $30 to $40 for each month the balance exceeds that limit. More

Fiorana Launches Line of Latino-Cut Bootylicious Jeans

Advertising Age's Laura Martinez comically comments on the launch of a line of jeans from Fiorana which are cut to accommodate the stereotypically Latina butt such as the ones attached to Jennifer Lopez, America Ferrara or Vida Guerra.

Fiorana President Mike Braden tells us, "The Latina body is different in waist and hip structure. When wearing Anglo cut jeans, there is always a fit problem around the waist area." Martinez ponders the point by wondering why she, who is of Latina descent, does not possess the bootylicious qualities Braden seems to believe all Latina women possess

.Latino celebrities here are more often than not defined by their daring derri�res. Think Salma Hayek, America Ferrara and the mother of all Latino-heavenly butts: Jennifer Lopez. More

Dallas hospital room where JFK died now stored in Kansas

A piece of JFK assassination history now lies buried in the most unlikely of places: a former limestone quarry in Kansas.

It is the end – at least for now – in the long and sometimes strange journey of Parkland Memorial Hospital Trauma Room No. 1, where President John F. Kennedy died on Nov. 22, 1963.

The entire room was purchased by the federal government 35 years ago, when Parkland officials decided to modernize their emergency facilities.

It was dismantled and the contents – all of them, the examination table, clocks, floor tiling, lockers, trash cans, surgical instruments, gloves, cotton balls, even a towel dispenser – were placed in a locked vault in a Fort Worth warehouse run by the National Archives and Records Administration. More

Bear's Activity in Woods Documented

Woods Near You - Speculation about whether bears have bowel movements in wooded areas has been settled with the release of a photograph.

An unidentified correspondent has provided photographic documentation of an unidentified bear relieving itself near a stand of trees in a rural area. The bear paused in that location for nearly a minute before looking around and leaving. An inspection of where the bear stood revealed nearly two pounds of fecal material.

Other lines of speculative questions include inquiries into whether the Pope residing in the Vatican is a member of the Catholic religion, and if country singer Dolly Parton sleeps on her back. StaggerOn.org is actively seeking photographic evidence of the latter question.

Mexico City starts grope-free buses for women

MEXICO CITY - Mexico City has started a women-only bus service to protect female passengers from groping and verbal abuse common on the city's packed public transportation system.

Millions of people cram into subway trains and buses in the Mexican capital, one of the world's largest cities, and women have long complained of abuse from men taking advantage of overcrowding to sneak in an inappropriate grab.

"One time a man stuck his hand up my skirt. They grab your butt ... It's gross," said 27-year-old office assistant Lourdes Zendejas, who waited 20 minutes during the evening rush hour to catch one of the new buses. More

Mitt Romney Demonstrates Campaign Promises

Attorney Installs Shark Tank in Office

BOZEMAN, Mont. - It started out as a joke - a lawyer putting a shark tank in his office. "I said, 'What would it take to put a shark in a lawyer's office?'", and it kind of took off from there, said attorney Christopher Gillette.

On Monday, a crane hoisted a 1,000-gallon aquarium up to a second-story window in Gillette's new office.

"I can't watch," Gillette said as half a dozen workers guided the roughly 8-foot-long, 4-foot-wide and 4-foot-tall tank through the window.

Gillette plans to fill the saltwater tank with a miniature marine ecosystem, including at least two sharks - a blacktip reef shark being flown in from the Caribbean Sea and a bamboo shark that will be hatched from eggs in the tank. More

Santa in G-String Arrested on DUI Charge

Some gifts from Santa Claus are better kept wrapped.

A man dressed as Kris Kringle was arrested Sunday night for investigation of drunken driving after he was spotted outside of Grauman's Chinese Theater in Hollywood wearing a wig, a red lace camisole and a purple G-string.

"We are pretty sure this is not the Santa Claus," police Deputy Chief Ken Garner said.

Rick Carroll, 53, of Long Beach, was booked into jail after his blood-alcohol level measured just above the state's legal limit of .08, police said. He was later released on $5,000 bail.etup. More

Police say woman groped Santa

A 33-year-old woman was charged with fourth-degree sexual assault Saturday after allegedly groping a man playing Santa Claus at the Danbury Fair mall.

Sandrama Lamy, 33, of Danbury, is charged with fourth-degree sexual assault, according to Danbury Detective Lt. Thomas Michael.

Two messages seeking comment were left on Lamy's answering machine.

Details leading up to the alleged fondling are sketchy.

"I don't know what the deal was. It was just bizarre," the mall Santa told a reporter, referring all other questions about the incident to Cherry Hill Photo, the company that runs the Danbury Fair mall Santa photo setup. More

Stocking Stuffers Courtesy of TSA, and Your Pocket

If you get your prized pocketknife snatched by airport security this holiday season, you might want to put in a call to Dexter Dobbins. He's the Transportation Security Administration's lost-and-found guy—or something like it, anyway.

Dobbins is a flea-market scavenger who's collected, in his estimation, between 7,000 and 10,000 knives taken from passengers at Washington airports. He gets his goods from the Auburn Retail Store, located inside a warehouse in a World War II–era compound south of the SuperMall.

Here, Dobbins rummages through two dozen bins of knives, scissors, and other implements of terror to pick out winners such as 1980s Buck blades. If you're still looking for cheap, albeit potentially blood-letting, stocking stuffers, Dobbins says markdowns average around 75 percent.

"Most of the stuff I get is pretty good," says Dobbins, a 56-year-old Puyallup resident who sells his TSA treasures on eBay. "I go every time they open. I don't miss a day." More

Microsoft Shuts Down Santa For Talking Dirty

SEATTLE, WA -- Microsoft Corp. quickly shut down Santa Claus' Web privileges after it found out the automated elf it created for instant messaging with kids was talking naughty, not nice.

Last year, Microsoft encouraged kids to connect directly to "Santa" by adding northpolelive.com to their Windows Live Messenger contact lists. The Santa program, which Microsoft reactivated in early December, asks children what they want for Christmas and can respond on topic via instant messaging, thanks to a bit of artificial intelligence.

Microsoft's holiday cheer soured this week when a reader of a United Kingdom-based technology news site, The Register, reported that a chat between Santa and his underage nieces about eating pizza prompted Santa to bring up oral sex.

One of the publication's writers replicated the chat Monday. After declining the writer's repeated invitations to eat pizza, a frustrated Santa burst out with, "You want me to eat what?!? It's fun to talk about oral sex, but I want to chat about something else.". More

Historic Whiskey Could Go Down Drain

Here's a sobering thought: Hundreds of bottles of Jack Daniel's whiskey, some of it almost 100 years old, may be unceremoniously poured down a drain because authorities suspect it was being sold by someone without a license.

Officials seized 2,400 bottles late last month during warehouse raids in Nashville and Lynchburg, the southern Tennessee town where the whiskey is distilled.

"Punish the person, not the whiskey," said an outraged Kyle MacDonald, 28, a Jack Daniel's drinker from British Columbia who promotes the whiskey on his blog. "Jack never did anything wrong, and the whiskey itself is innocent."

Investigators are also looking into whether some of the bottles had been stolen from the distillery. No one has been arrested. More

Bra-maker to turn Japanese women into bag ladies

Environmentally concerned Japanese women will soon have an option to accepting plastic bags, their bras!

A lingerie maker, in a bid to discourage Japanese from using plastic bags, on Wednesday unveiled a bra whose cup padding unfolds to become a handheld shopping bag.

Lingerie maker Triumph has regularly designed bras aimed at drawing attention to social issues and to raise its own profile.

Last winter it unveiled a bra that can be heated in a microwave so as to help save on indoor heating costs.

The “Bra Rangers” — named after the television characters that morph into superheroes — come with matching underwear whose pocket has the inscribed message, “No more plastic bags!” More

Possible human remains in Disney's 'pirate' ride

ANAHEIM, CA - Those animatronic skeletons drinking wine and steering a ship may not be the only dead ones inside the Pirates of the Caribbean ride.

A suspicious powder that may or may not have been cremated remains was spotted in the water in the popular attraction, forcing the ride to close briefly Friday afternoon. Security officials were unable to determine what the substance was or find the female visitor who was seen sprinkling the powder.

"A witness described the substance as baby powder that quickly dissipated. We reopened the attraction after determining that there was no danger to our guests," said Rob Doughty, a Disneyland spokesman, in a prepared statement.

While Disney officials deny this is a recurring problem, a Disney watchdog blog said that this isn't the only incident of visitors possibly scattering the ashes of loved ones in the rides, specifically dark attractions. More

Was Communism created by Acne?

LONDON - Karl Marx, who complained of excruciating boils, actually suffered from a chronic skin disease with known psychological effects that may well have influenced his writings, a British expert claims.

Sam Shuster, professor of dermatology at the University of East Anglia, believes the revolutionary thinker had hidradenitis suppurativa (HS) in which the apocrine sweat glands -- found mainly in the armpits and groin -- become blocked and inflamed.

"In addition to reducing his ability to work, which contributed to his depressing poverty, hidradenitis greatly reduced his self-esteem," said Shuster, who published his findings in the British Journal of Dermatology.

"This explains his self-loathing and alienation, a response reflected by the alienation Marx developed in his writing." More

Russia schools ban 'cult of death' Halloween

MOSCOW - Moscow schools have been ordered to ban students from celebrating Halloween despite the widespread popularity of the imported festival to Russia.

Halloween is being forced underground because it "includes religious elements, the cult of death, the mockery of death," a spokesman for the city's education department Alexander Gavrilov said on Wednesday.

Pumpkins and images of witches are widespread across Russia, with many bars organizing special fancy dress parties, despite the efforts of the Kremlin, and especially the Russian Orthodox Church, to curb enthusiasm for non-native festivities. More

Forget Hooters - Twin Peaks, a new place to pitch your tent

Albuquerque, NM - Twin Peaks is located in the building that used to house Rockfish, in the sprawling restaurant metro area of The 25 Way. I was immediately greeted by an enormous outdoor mural of a buxom cowgirl proudly showing off her wares, next to the phrase “Come and Get It!”

A server, Gina, was clad in the regulation uniform of a tiny red-and-black checkered flannel tie-top with an open front, the shortest shorts imaginable and cutsie faux-wilderness-whacking boots. As expected, you can really see more meat on these ladies than on the chicken wings they’re hawking, and the wings are pretty meaty.

The indoor dining area is decorated with apropos fake hunting lodge furniture and lots of wood and plaid. Walking through the bar, in between the multitude of flat-screen TVs blaring ESPN, the tables were packed with so many military guys in uniform it looked like Fort Bragg..

And, of course, there were the ladies. From a purely shallow standpoint, the servers were all pretty hot. Blondes, brunettes, short, tall, shy, sassy and even a smoky-luscious tattooed goth girl. I did not get a tawdry strip-club feel from the place, and manager Jamie and I agreed the restaurant isn’t quite a nudie bar, but not quite Applebees—something in between. More

Military mistakenly recruits on gay Web site

The Army, Navy and Air Force unwittingly advertised for recruits on a Web site for gays, who are barred from military service if they are open about their sexual orientation.

When informed Tuesday by USA Today that they were advertising on GLEE.com, a networking Web site for gay professionals, recruiters expressed surprise and said they would remove the job listings.

“This is the first I’ve heard about it,” said Maj. Michael Baptista, advertising branch chief for the Army National Guard, which will spend $6.5 million on Internet recruiting this year. “We didn’t knowingly advertise on that particular Web site,” which he said does not “meet the moral standards” of the military.

Most of the military jobs posted were "hard-to-fill" positions requiring advanced training, although some ads sought to fill core combat slots at a time when the Iraq war has challenged recruiters to meet goals..More

Commuter Dudes Mount Skateboards, Ignore Wives

Fred Mahe, a 36-year-old software salesman, twists his tie into a neat knot while riding his skateboard up Madison Avenue from his home in the Financial District to his office at 42nd Street and 3rd Avenue. “It’s like a magic carpet,” he said of his trusty transport. “You just kind of stand on it and it goes.”

Mr. Mahe doesn’t ride to work every day (“Some days it’s all you can do to find your way to the train,” he said), but he has joined a contingent of late–20-something and 30-year-old skateboarders who are riding the concrete waves of New York and Brooklyn on planks of wood atop polyurethane wheels. These aren’t the young skate punks of Union Square, grinding on railings and clattering down concrete steps at bone-breaking speed.

These are guys with mortgages, iPhone bills and maybe wives and children, who find time to skateboard to and from work or cruise through Central Park on the weekends. They’re indulging in nostalgia for a childhood pastime (Hello, Peter Pan? It’s Wendy calling!) while convincing themselves it counts as cardio. More

Former Mexican president got wealthy from his gig

It appears the it is not just American presidents who accumulate wealth after "serving" the public.

Former Mexican president Vicente Fox has apparently done very well for himself by raking in the ameros after his gig in Mexico.

It all began with a few photos published in one of Mexico's most popular celebrity magazines.

The magazine, Quien, opened a window on Vicente Fox's post-presidential life nearly a year after he left office, treating Mexicans to photos of his newly renovated ranch, complete with a pool, artificial lake and expansive gardens. The glamorous spread prompted a public debate about how Fox could have earned enough as president to afford such luxuries. More

Buried in Stuff: How one woman escaped

Americans are buried in mounds and mounds of their possesions.

They have so many belongings that their homes can not contain it all, and many resort to renting storage space.

Nearly one in 10 American households now rents additional storage, and the Self Storage Association estimates that in 2007 there is a total 2.2 billion square feet of self-storage in the United States, or 79 square miles--more than three times the size of Manhattan. That, brags the association's web site, is "6.86 sq. ft. of self storage space for every man, woman, and child in the nation.

This is one woman's account of how she started to crawl out from under her pile of stuff. More

Staying Dry at Burning Man

Burning Man may have a rep as a haven for drug users, but you won't find 'em in Anonymous Camp.

The stereotype is true. A good portion, perhaps even the majority, of the costumed, dusty people you meet during a night at Burning Man � the massive, hedonistic annual artfest � are walking around as high as a four-story desert sculpture.

But there's a faction of folks attending the weeklong event who choose to do it drug-free, for reasons ranging from preference to survival. Visit Anonymous Camp for one of several daily Alcoholics Anonymous meetings offered in Black Rock City, and you'll meet plenty of people who want to keep their own mind-altering experiences clean and sober. More

Beer cans block Ohio man's escape from burning house

FRANKLIN TOWNSHIP, OH -- A Cincinnati area man who died in a house fire early Wednesday morning may have survived if his escape had not been blocked by a large pile of beer cans. Fire crews were called to the home near Cincinnati before 6 a.m. and found heavy smoke and fire coming from the structure.

The stereotype is true. A good portion, perhaps even the majority, of the costumed, dusty people you meet during a night at Burning Man � the massive, hedonistic annual artfest � are walking around as high as a four-story desert sculpture.

Firefighters initially said no one was hurt, but one person, Robert McCarty, 37, was unaccounted for.

Crews working inside the home found McCarty's body shortly after 10 a.m., and investigators said his exit was blocked by a 5-foot tall stack of beer cans. More

'Burning Man' gets torched ahead of schedule

BLACK ROCK DESERT, NEV. - A San Francisco man was arrested on felony arson charges today after the 40-foot-tall "Man" statue whose torching is the annual highlight of the Burning Man festival in Nevada went up in flames four days early, authorities said.

Paul Addis, 35, of San Francisco, was booked into the Pershing County Jail in Nevada on the arson charge and misdemeanor possession of fireworks, Sheriff Ron Skinner said.

Festival organizers, meanwhile, pondered the smoldering remains of the Man and promised to rebuild the big guy in time for Saturday's regularly scheduled burn in the Black Rock Desert north of Reno.

"The Man is still standing, and an assessment is under way to determine the structural integrity of the Man and the Green Man Pavilion," according to a statement posted today at www.burningman.com. "The event will continue as scheduled." More

Reptiles found in Saudi's luggage

Cairo, EGYPT -- A Saudi man�s attempt to smuggle live reptiles out of Egypt in his hand luggage has been foiled by horrified security officers at Cairo airport.

Snakes, chameleons and baby crocodiles were found in the 22-year-old�s bags as he tried to board a Saudi-bound flight.

Police had become suspicious when X-ray machines at the departure gate gave odd readings. Among the reptiles they found was a cobra, squirming to escape.

The animals were confiscated and turned over to Cairo Zoo.R. More

Stripper Saves Client with CPR

PORT ST. LUCIE, FL -- Karnesha Nantz gave an unexpected performance Friday morning.

The exotic dancer went to a Port St. Lucie, Florida home to entertain 46-year-old Daniel Karpisnki on several occasions, but this time Nantz noticed something wrong.

Nantz said Karpinski was sitting on his couch watching her dance for about 20 minutes. Facing a television with her back toward him, she asked him, "Do you like this, baby?" while swiveling her hips back and forth, she said.

She turned around and realized her 46-year-old client had passed out. "He looked like he was dead," Nantz said. "I had to pull him to the floor, and I tilted his head."

Nantz started CPR. More

Zoo faces charges for selling animals as food

BERLIN Germany - A mayor in eastern Germany has filed charges against workers at his local zoo for shooting animals and selling them as meat.

A spokeswoman for the mayor's office said deer were among the animals killed and sold by workers at Erfurt Zoo without permission over a number of years.

"The case is now with the state prosecutors," said the spokeswoman, declining to give further details.

The German Animal Protection League demanded a review of controls at the zoo and at all other institutions with animals in the state of Thuringia.

"We are worried this is only the tip of the iceberg," said Wolfgang Apel, president of the League, who also said the case raised serious questions about the zoo's management. More

Yee Haw, Let The Games Begin

Four by fours, swimmin' holes, gun racks, six packs and barbecued road kill - the stuff of redneck legend.

To many being called a "redneck" may be offensive, but not to some people who met in East Dublin, Georgia for a festival that celebrates just that... being a redneck.

They says they're proud to participate in all things considered redneck at the Redneck Games.

Bobbing for pigs feet was one of the highlights of the games.

One woman beat out a group of pot-bellied men to win the top prize.. More

Al Gore III Busted with dope in Prius

Perhaps inspired by Paris Hilton, Al Gore III displayed the magnificent gene pool he swims in by getting busted driving a Prius at 100 mph while trafficking in dope and pills.

Al Gore III, the 24-year-old son of the former vice president, was booked on pot-and-pill-possession charges after police clocked him speeding 100 mph down a southern California highway in his eco-friendly Toyota Prius.

It was his second dope arrest in four years.

When deputies searched the car they found pot, along with Valium, Xanax, Vicodin and Adderall. He is currently being held at the Santa Ana Inmate Reception Center on $20,000 bail. More

Clinton, Gore Get Rich Post-White House

When Bill Clinton and Al Gore left the White House, they both had serious financial problems. Now they both have serious cash.

President Clinton left power in 2001 dogged by legal bills. Last year he made more than $10 million in paid speeches, according to federal filings released by his wife's presidential campaign.

"I like to kid my husband we never had any money, and then he gets out of the White House, and he starts making it, and that's fine with me," New York Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton has joked.

But it's Gore, Clinton's former No. 2, who is really raking it in.

After his failed presidential run, a bearded and embattled Gore signed on as an adviser with a then-obscure Internet company called Google.

He went on to join the board of Apple, then he started his own profitable cable company and an asset management firm. More

Car Tent Makes Homelessness a thing of the past

Hotels are really expensive, especially in dense metropolitan areas such as Manhattan. If you're looking to crash in a city but don't feel like dropping bills on a closet-sized hotel room, just go camping in your Car Tent.

Sure, camping on the side of the road is illegal and dangerous, but no one will know you're there. That's because the Car Tent looks like a car with a cover on it, keeping you hidden from sight while you live the dream of being so cheap that you're willing to literally sleep in the gutter to save a buck. More

Free Speech Dead in Berkeley

Four decades ago a free speech movement kicked off on a Berkeley campus, but has now appeared to have kicked the bucket.

DeezTeez.com, a San Leandro silkscreener and purveyor of wearable Adam Sandler humor recently pulled its "Rutgers ... Nappy Headed Hoes Basketball Team" shirt off its Web site after a group of activists launched an online protest rally and stormed a Berkeley retailer earlier this month.

The navy-blue shirts, which depict a basketball with a picked-out Afro, sparked the ire of some Cal students and staff, who recently walked en masse into T-Shirt Orgy, a basement shop within the Bear Basics store on Telegraph Avenue, and demanded that the "nappy" shirt come down.

Deez' owners don't view the shirts as racist � it's all 'hood to them. Their designs regularly crib from hip-hop lyrics: "Where My Hose At?" shows up next to the depiction of a firefighter. "Nuthin' But a G-String," which accompanies a burlesque dancer, plays on a song title from Dr. Dre's 1992 album The Chronic. More

Bikini baristas serve it up in Oregon

Salem, OR - When Adam Marshall and Steven Rotan opened their drive-through coffee shop Coffee Nation on Mission Street in January, they knew they were going to face a challenge.

The state was requiring them to install a median that would block left-turn access to their shop, which they feared would slow business.

Instead of sulking, the Salem brothers got to work on a promotional plan. That plan now has shop employees sporting an unusual uniform: bikinis.

"It's really worked," said Marshall, 28. "Our profits are going up every day." More

Teacher accused of selling kid's jacket on eBay

Hillsboro, OR � A Hillsboro mother found her daughter's missing winter coat on eBay, and now a teacher at the girl's elementary school faces charges of theft and computer crimes.

Elizabeth Logan, 41,is on paid administrative leave from Jackson Elementary. She denies stealing the coat, saying she got it from a lost-and-found, Cmdr. Chris Skinner said.

The mother searched the school's lost and found for the coat, then decided to turn to eBay for a replacement. After finding a seemingly identical coat, she noticed that the seller was from Hillsboro. More

Iranian police crack down on women's clothing

The police bus screeches to a halt at a Tehran square packed with traffic. The officers leap out and begin spot checks on passing pedestrians and cars.

Police work apparently like any other place in the world. But here in the Iranian capital their targets are women deemed to have infringed the Islamic republic's strict dress rules.

"For God's sake no pictures!" yells a mother whose daughter has just been stopped by the male officers for her Islamic headscarf (hijab) being pushed too far back and revealing an excessive amount of hair.

The dusk patrol in Tehran's western quarter of Shahrak-e Gharb is part of a nationwide crackdown aimed at "guiding" women to adhere to the Islamic dress code, which since the 1979 revolution requires women in Iran to cover their heads and bodily contours. More

Arrrrr, maties -- Pyratecon hits New Orleans

New Orlean s, LA - The costumed pirate wore a plumed hat and held a squat bottle labeled "rum" in his hand. Inside the bottle, dark liquid sloshed and fizzed.

"It's Coke. I didn't think rum would be appropriate at a school," said Capt. Arrrghdee (pronounced R.D., with "emphasis on the arrrrrrr"), otherwise known as Richard Reid of Deer Park, Texas.

He's among at least 750 people attending "Pyratecon," a New Orleans weekend of piratical dress-up and lore. The weekend gathering also includes good deeds, such as giving supplies to a school re-emerging from Hurricane Katrina.

Pirates are hot these days, thanks in part to Johnny Depp and "Pirates of the Caribbean." But pirates have had a place in popular culture at least since Captain Charles Johnson (or was it Daniel Defoe?) published "A General History of the Robberies and Murders Of the most Notorious Pyrates" in 1724. More

Don't pick on these Gays, they pack heat

On a crisp Sunday morning, Nicki Stallard closes one mascara-coated eye and focuses intently on her target. Her long fingers are wrapped around the handle of a Colt .45; black go-go boots hug her muscular legs, which are firmly set in shooting stance. As she rapidly fires off rounds of ammunition, shells fall to the ground, rolling under her stacked platform heels.

Nicki Stallard isn't your average lady. She was born a man..

Stallard, who has been living as a woman for the past year and a half, is the coordinator of the San Jose chapter of the Pink Pistols -- a national organization that encourages gay, lesbian and transgender people to arm themselves to prevent hate crimes. Part social gun club, part political platform, the group's slogans are, "Armed gays don't get bashed" and "Pick on someone your own caliber." More

Hooters Opens Restaurant in Israel

Hooters, the restaurant chain known for its tasty wings and scantily clad servers, is heading to Israel.

Atlanta-based Hooters of America Inc. said in a statement Monday that it has reached a franchise deal with Ilana and Ofer Ahiraz to open the first Hooters restaurant this year in Israel, with several more locations in Israel to follow.

The first restaurant will be in Tel Aviv, Hooters spokesman Mike McNeil said Tuesday. The franchisees are from Israel. Eventually, other parts of the country might be considered for locations, but there have been no decisions about where, McNeil said.

�For the most part, it will be identical to what you�re going to see in the United States � the same uniform for the girls, chicken wings and burgers,� he said.. More

Hillary Clinton Attempting to Muff the Gay Vote

Hillary Clinton is facing stiff competition in her pursuit of influential gay Democrats. Unlike the election of 2004, when Howard Dean had the distinction of having fought for a civil-unions bill when he was governor of Vermont, the three leading Democratic candidates have virtually identical stances on the most visible gay issues.

Speaking for the second time this month in front of a predominantly gay audience, Hillary Clinton assured the crowd at a Gay Men�s Health Crisis dinner at Chelsea Piers that help was on the way.

She guaranteed her support of their issues �when I�m President,� and pointedly referred to a special AIDS grant she pushed through Congress for the first time �since the end of the last Clinton administration.�.

The crowd laughed appreciatively at what was a well-worn bit about the Clinton restoration, and an acknowledgement of the influence of the gay fund-raisers and activists who may put her in the White House. More

Maya priests to purify sacred site after Bush visit

GUATEMALA CITY -- Mayan priests will purify a sacred archaeological site to eliminate "bad spirits" after President Bush visits next week, an official with close ties to the group said Thursday.

"That a person like (Bush), with the persecution of our migrant brothers in the United States, with the wars he has provoked, is going to walk in our sacred lands, is an offense for the Mayan people and their culture," Juan Tiney, the director of a Mayan nongovernmental organization with close ties to Mayan religious and political leaders, said Thursday.

It is likely that Bush will leave behind a stench of sulfur wherever he goes. He is seen in this photo flashing a salute of allegiance to his venerable leader. More

Molly Ivins Dead at 62 of Breast Cancer

Austin, TX - Columnist Molly Ivins died at her Austin, Texas home in hospice care on January 31, 2007, at age 62 after a prolonged struggle with breast cancer. A journalist who had a style of writing that made for great humor, Ms. Ivins said of her illness, "Having breast cancer is massive amounts of no fun. First they mutilate you; then they poison you; then they burn you. I have been on blind dates better than that."

Ivins was born in California, and raised in Houston, Texas. She had a long career in journalism, including when she became a columnist on the Dallas Times-Herald in 1982. There she opined of one Texas legislator that, "If his IQ were any lower, they'd have to water him twice a day," a reader complained, "Molly Ivins can't say that, can she?" - which became the paper's catchphrase for marketing her, and the title of her first book.

She rose to national prominence along with George Bush. It was Ivins who gave the president the nickname Shrub after he had called one of his failed oil companies "arbusto", thinking it was Spanish for bush.Here are a few links to get to better know this remarkable woman.

Molly Ivins' column in the Fort Worth Star-Telegram
Molly Ivins quotations
Texas Observer Tribute

Danish Bikini Bandits Draw Attention to Speed Signs

Copenhagen, Denmark - A campaign by the Danish Road Safety Council aims to get motorists to slow down to 50 km in cities. The Danish Safety Council has decided to draw attention to speed signs by using sexy, half naked girls - Bikini Bandits. They made a movie with the Bikini Bandits, who stay on the roads and wave with speed signs.

This movie aims to draw attention to speed signs and speed limits in Denmark. Despite a decrease in speed violations, 7 out of 10 Danes still exceed the speed limit on a regular basis. Respecting the speed limits is the simplest way to save lives. Watch the Video

Give us all Your Money

For you people who are bored with gambling in online casinos, weary of hacking through the stilted English of Nigerian 419 scam operators, and have no possible room for the latest "treasure" acquired from eBay, there is a new painless way to depart with your worldly wealth.

The operators of the giveusallyourmoney.com site are willing to help you part with any remaining funds that survived the KwanHannaMas holidays. It is an easy click to get a form where you fill in your credit card numbers and data. Then you click once to send. There will be no tacky eBay items to wait for, no tedious conversations with pushy Nigerians, and no seizure inducing flashy casino graphics.

Currently, there is no provision for giving away cash or real estate. Give Away all Your Money

Santa's Butt Beer Banned in Maine

Bangor, ME - The Maine Civil Liberties Union wants Santa’s Butt in beer coolers by Christmas.

In what its staff attorney called a case of government censorship, the MCLU on Thursday sued the Maine Bureau of Liquor Enforcement in federal court over the agency’s refusal to let a specialty beer distributor sell three imported brews because their labels were deemed "undignified and improper." One beer features Santa Claus on its label, while the others feature artwork that includes depictions of bare-breasted women.

"There is no good reason for the state to censor art, even art found on a beer label," Zachary Heiden, staff attorney for the MCLU, said Thursday in a news release announcing the lawsuit. "Artistic expression is entitled to the highest level of protection under the First Amendment." More

Beware of Bad Santas

Portland, OR - If you find yourself in Portland this year you might be confronted with the sight of 200 drunken Santas swarming up West Burnside, swigging from Mr. Clean bottles and singing lewd perversions of Christmas carols. A joyously anarchic combination of Bad Santa, Mardi Gras, flashmob and peyote-eggnog hallucination, the bawdy barhop known as Santacon is organized by the merry pranksters of the Cacophony Society and has expanded to more than three dozen cities worldwide since it first hit Portland 10 years ago.

The draw of the event is obvious: If perpetuating the Santa Claus scam is a way of preserving childhood, then perpetrating Santacon is a way of reclaiming immaturity. The Kringle mobsters, who address one another only as 'Santa' (and answer most questions that way, too), hand out candy to the kids and sex toys to the grownups. More

WalMart Bans Delivery Guy For Looking Like Osama

A Buenos Aires Walmart has banned potato chip delivery driver Oscar Brufani, saying he looks too much like Osama Bin Laden.

Brufani is suing Walmart to let him deliver his chips.

In a press release, Walmart said Brufani's allegations were unfounded. The retailer alluded to a company dress code, though it didn't say how Brufani might have violated it, or how the dress code applied to a potato chip delivery person. More

Sexy Halloween styles for girls frighten adults

Many girls are dressing for Halloween in costumes that look like they are turning tricks instead of seeking treats.

Halloween hasn’t changed much for boys: Gory get ups and monster masks still sell. But in the last few years costumes for girls have traded silly and sweet for skimpy and sexy.

It’s gotten so bad, one mother on an Internet bulletin board suggested renaming the holiday Dress Like a Prostitute Day.

"That’s an awful thing to say," the woman wrote. "But that’s what some of these costumes look like to me."

Many blame pop culture. Racy television shows and music videos teem with images of teenage girls. Child beauty pageants feature questionable costumes, while corporations make billions selling sexy products to girls too young to understand their significance. More

Killer Teddy Bear slaughters 2500

Milford, N.H - Most teddy bears appear cute and cuddly, but one in New Hampshire has brought destruction and loss of life.

This killer bear has been implicated in 2,500 deaths. Of trout, that is. State officials say a teddy bear dropped into a pool at a Fish and Game Department hatchery earlier this month clogged a drain. The clog blocked the flow of oxygen to the pool and suffocated the fish.

Hatcheries supervisor Robert Fawcett said the bear is believed to be the first stuffed bear to cause fatalities at the facility.

"We've had pipes get clogged, but it's usually with more naturally occurring things like a frog or even a dead muskrat," he said. "This one turned out to be a teddy bear and we don't know how it got there." More

Crikey! Steve Irwin 'Crocodile Hunter' killed by stingray

Queensland, Australia - Australian naturalist and television personality Steve Irwin has been killed by a stingray during a diving expedition off the Australian coast.

Irwin, 44, died after being struck in the chest by the stingray's barb while he was filming a documentary in Queensland's Great Barrier Reef.

Irwin's friend of 20 years, Ferre De Deyne said Irwin had been struck by the stingray while filming. "The stingray just happened to be swimming around and out of the blue whacked his tail at him," he said.

More than 500 million people knew of Irwin, with his programs screened in more than 130 countries. More

"Crikey, mate. You're far safer dealing with crocodiles and western diamondback rattlesnakes than the executives and the producers and all those sharks in the big MGM building." - Steve Irwin

Pot Growing at Duluth Police Department

Duluth, MN - There is a saying, that to get the best drugs you must go see a cop.

In Duluth that is evidently the case. Reporter Janna Goerdt, of the Duluth News Tribune, uncovered a dozen marijuana plants growing in western Duluth.

The pot wasn't growing off an ATV trail. And she didn't find it in the woods. Goerdt found the marijuana growing in a planter near the front door of the West Duluth police substation. More

StaggerOn Video Banned on YouTube

A video that was produced by StaggerOn.org was banned by the video sharing site YouTube.

The video, which depicts Mexican flags and a sign with the racist phrase "La Raza" being set on fire, had been posted on the site in early June. It was removed from the site on June 26th.

YouTube had alleged that the video had violated its terms of use, but was unable to specify what terms had been violated and what aspect of the video was in violation.

User comments on the video were mostly positive. There were some negative comments, and some of them are included here in their entirety to show the level of dialog.

"fucking idiots get a fucking life damn white trash mad cuz where taking your own fucking country ha." - bayareasexy

"SO YOU THINK YOUR CLEVER AND FUNNY BY DOING STUPID SHIT LIKE THIS HA? YOU FUCKED UP HOMIE." - djghorizon

Although YouTube has banned the Mexican flag burning video, you can still watch it on this site. See the Video

Terrorism, Global Warming, Poverty, Cheap Music

St. Petersburg, Russia - The British recording industry lobbying group, BPI, has written a letter urging the UK foreign secretary to make sure that a discussion of AllofMP3.com will take place at the latest G8 summit.

So now, among the talk of terrorism, poverty and global warming world leaders are going to be concerned with a website that sells music cheaper than the industry likes.

Alleging that the music site is illegal, the BPI is suing the website, claiming it is breaking UK law by selling music there without the necessary licence. More

Chinese workers live and work in "iPod City"

In much the same way that we'd rather not think about how the Big Macs we eat were produced, we also often ignore the manner in which our favorite gadgets are manufactured, because it's not as fun listening to tunes when you consider that the person who put together your DAP could be living like an indentured servant.

According to a recent report about "iPod City," indentured servitude might not be a bad description of the working conditions inside the city-size Chinese factories that assemble the iPod nano and Shuffle.

This is where the employees reportedly make about $50-a-month and live in crowded dormitories as thanks for working 15-hour days. More

Man Pays Speeding Ticket 52 Years Later

Philadelphia, PA - A British man finally got around to paying a speeding ticket he received in Philadelphia's Fairmount Park nearly 52 years ago.

Park officials received a letter and a five-pound note this week from John Gedge, who's now 84 and living in a nursing home in East Sussex, England.

Five pounds was worth about $14 in 1954, and about $9 today. More

Norway dumps Wal-Mart stock

Norwegian Finance Minister Kristin Halvorsen revealed Tuesday that two new stocks will be banned from the country's so-called "oil fund," which now is called the Norwegian Government Pension Fund - Global and currently is worth about USD 250 billion. It ranks as one of the biggest pension funds in the world.

The ministry reported that it's excluding Wal-Mart Stores Inc, Wal-Mart de Mexico and Freeport McMoRan Copper and Gold Inc from the fund "in line with recommendations from the Council on Ethics for the Fund."

Halvorsen's finance ministry officials cited "serious" and "systematic violations of human rights and labour rights" as its reason for pulling out of its Wal-Mart investments. More

'Juan Valdez' picks his last coffee bean

BOGOTA, Colombia - After 37 years of schlepping around sacks of coffee beans with his trusty mule, Conchita, Juan Valdez is calling it quits

Carlos Sanchez, the actor who has portrayed Juan Valdez, has promoted Colombian coffee since 1969 with a leather bag, bushy mustache and straw hat typical of rural Colombia. That Juan Valdez trademark has become one of the world's most recognizable, and the fictional figure has become one of the most famous Colombians of all time. More

Spud Wars - Episode 9: A New Franchise

Star Trek meets Photoshop meets centerfolds

There is a stereotype of Star Trek fans (sometimes called Trekkies) being socially awkward nerdy types whose social lives consist of dressing up as characters fron the Trek universe.

This is probably just a stereotype, but one Trekkie obviously has a LOT of time on his hands

A blogger who identifies himself as "TrekMaster" has an entire gallery of attractive well endowed women who he has photo-manipulated into costumes one might find in a Star Trek episode or movie.

TrekMaster takes some artistic license with the idea, but it is definitely in keeping with the spirit of Star Trek. Starting with the very first episode, exotic women in skimpy costumes has been a staple of the series. More

Proof of Global Warming

Canada Post rejects topless stamps

CALGARY, Canada - Sultry personal postage stamp images have been returned-to-sender by Canada Post, leaving a Calgary photographer claiming his work is being censored.

Photographer Frederick Potter said he was excited to learn Canada Post offers a service that allows people to customize and order stamps by using their own photographs. But when some artistic shots of his Ukrainian-born wife Oleanna Potter topless, and one with Maple Leaf flags covering her breasts, were rejected as inappropriate, Frederick said he was baffled.

‘It’s arbitrary censorship,’ he said. ‘Would a picture of a baby on a bearskin rug be considered child pornography? Where does it end?

Having Oleanna on a postage stamp is kind of a celebration of her becoming a Canadian.” More

Gas station sued for prices being too cheap

Greenville, SC - A South Carolina gas station has sued saying that a competitor's lower per gallon prices at the pump have caused them to lose profits.

Pantry Incorporated owns a gas station in Gaffney. It sued in Cherokee County, alleging that Petro Express had kept prices at two of its Gaffney stations below cost.

Consider that for a moment. A gas station raises its prices so as to rake in more profit, and when a competitor does not participate in the scheme, business will naturally move to them. So they sue the competitor. It will be interesting to find a jury (outside of California) that are dumb enough to rubber stamp that lawsuit. More

Did you ever eat a Pink Taco? Do you want cheese with it?

Scottsdale, Arizona - In a city aspiring to be defined by its good taste, a new Mexican restaurant, the Pink Taco, is opening with a name that some find offensive.

Sounding more strip club than cantina, the restaurant isn't coy about the double entendre. "(The name) came out of a dish (that's on the menu), but it's tongue-in-cheek. It was amusing, catchy," Pink Taco CEO Harry Morton said. "You've got to stand out from the rest of the crowd.".

Mayor Mary Manross was so put off by the name, a slang term for vagina, that she asked its owner to change it.

"I don't appreciate anything that offends more than half the population," Manross said. "But he said no and heard my concern. I really didn't want to see a business with that name opening anywhere here." More

US marines offer Babylon apology

A senior US marine officer says he is willing to apologise for the damage caused by his troops to the ancient Iraqi site of Babylon.

US forces built a helicopter pad on the ancient ruins and filled their sandbags with archaeological material in the months following the 2003 invasion.

Colonel Coleman was chief of staff at Babylon when it was occupied by the First Marine Expeditionary Force.

The 2,000 troops who were deployed there did immense damage as they set up camp amidst the ruins of old temples.

A helicopter pad was constructed at the site. The vibration from landings led the roof of one building to collapse.

Babylon's Hanging Gardens were among the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World. More

Fruitcake from 1962 emerges

There is a theory that there are only 5 fruitcakes in the world, and they keep getting passed round as gifts. If that is true, then there are now 6 fruitcakes in circulation.

Lance Nesta has never much cared for the taste of fruitcake, so when his two aunts sent him one in November 1962 he stashed it away in his stuff and forgot about it. He still has it, after more than four decades.

"I was in the Army in 1962 and stationed in Alaska when my Mom told me that my two aunts were sending me a fruitcake for Christmas," Nesta said. "She knew I hated the damn things, but she said she didn’t have the heart to tell my aunts, who had already mailed it." More

US Immigration Policy explained

U.S. immigration policy can seem baffling to anyone on the outside looking in.

This pictorial shows some of the key players and interests in the hope of shedding some light on the topic.

Find out who gets in, why they get in, who benefits, and what are some of the hidden agendas served by the policy in this StaggerOn.org exclusive. More

Loompanics Books closes doors

Loompanics Unlimited, publisher of fringe and countercultural books, is going out of business due to declining sales. Statement from Loompanics owner:

Owning Loompanics has been the biggest thrill of my life – for 30 years I got to live my dream (and stick it to the man!). I want to thank everyone who made it possible: Our customers, authors, artists, reviewers, interviewers, vendors, and most of all, the super efficient Loompanics staff...

...and everyone who made it necessary! All the censors, prudes, prigs and pigs in the world, especially the U.S.A...

I hoped this day would never come, but sales have been steadily falling for several years, and we just can't keep the place going any longer! Thank you one and all, for thirty fantastic years! – Mike Hoy, Pres.. More

Easter Bunny booted from St. Paul city office

A petty official in St. Paul, MN removed a cloth Easter bunny, pastel-colored eggs and a sign with the words "Happy Easter" from the City Hall lobby.

Tyrone Terrill, the city's human rights director, asked that the decorations be removed out of concern that it would offend non-Christians.

Terrill failed to explain what a pagan symbol had to do with Christians, or how non-Christians would be offended by a non-Christian symbol. This left rational thinking people scratching their head wondering what the fuss was all about.

Terrill also said no citizen had complained to him. More

Stop time with your mind

Einstein demonstrated that time is relative.

But the rabbit-hole goes much deeper. Quantum physics discovered that consciousness is entangled in matter in some inexplicable ways; but other than the very fast, or very small, or very large, we tend to assume our “ordinary” reality conforms more to the laws of Newton. Simple cause and effect unfolding with clockwork constancy —well, it’s time to shatter this assumption. Let’s stop time. More

Beer pours from kitchen faucet

David Hasselhoff accused of domestic battery

Less than a month after filing for divorce, David Hasselhoff's estranged wife has filed for a court order on a claim of domestic violence by the former Baywatch star.

Actress Pamela Bach, 42, made the filing against Hasselhoff, 53, in the Los Angeles Superior Court, the court's website shows.

Makes one wonder if Hasselhoff was listening to Yanni CDs. More

Patriot Act passed, used to lock up US citizens, not terrorists

Despite reassurances from Bush aministration paid propagandists, the Patriot Act is used to harass and annoy Americans, with almost no prosecution of terrorists being done.

If you buy a cold or allergy medicine, or pay off your credit card, you are a possible enemy of the Bush regime, and you and will come under suspicion. Eventually you may be able to clear your name. More

Music star Yanni arrested for domestic battery - Yanni's greatest hits?

Music superstar Yanni was arrested at his Manalapan home early Friday morning after his girlfriend accused him of slapping and shaking her during a late-night argument.

The international New Age icon spent 12 hours at the Palm Beach County Jail before being released Friday afternoon. He did not have to post bond, but he is barred from contact with his girlfriend and is required to check in daily with court workers.

Manalapan police were called to the home of the 51-year-old musician - whose legal name is John Y. Christopher - late Thursday after his girlfriend called 911 from a locked bathroom, according to a police report. More

StaggerOn.org gets reviewed by Zeph Report

Shortwave, internet and podcast personality Zeph Daniel visited StaggerOn.org recently and discussed the site with his co hosts Trish, and Frankie. Describing the site as "iconoclastic" they viewed several articles and items, while describing them to their audience.

Zeph's website, the Zeph Report, is home of his podcasts which include the Zeph Report and Channel Z. He and his guests discuss current events from a spiritual perspective, with commentary on news stories. One hour of his programming is broadcast daily on shortwave, and includes taking calls from listeners. Listen

Rumsfeld wanted to hit Iraq after 9/11

Hours after a commercial plane struck the Pentagon on September 11 2001 the US defence secretary, Donald Rumsfeld, was issuing rapid orders to his aides to look for evidence of Iraqi involvement, according to notes taken by one of them. More

Haliburton to be given $385M, disinformation campaign lauched to cover up what the funds are to be used for.

KBR, the engineering and construction subsidiary of Halliburton Co. has been awarded a contingency contract from the Department of Homeland Security.

The purported reason for funneling all these funds to the company is to to supports it Immigration and Customs Enforcement facilities in the event of an emergency.

This is unlikely, as the official Bush policy is that illegal aliens are no longer considered "illegal". They are to be given amnesty and mainstreamed into the economy. This disinformation was manufactured to hide the real reason that Haliburton is being given these funds, which is likely that Bush cronies are looting the public treasury. More

How the Cheney Shootergate scandal measures up

The American press has been critical of "Deadeye Dick" Cheney for being slow to come to them with an explanation of his hunting accident in which he shot Austin attorney Harry Whittington. A look at the timelines of other public officials involved in incidents has shown that Cheney has been quicker to release information to the media than they have been.

To keep the comparison fair, this will only include officials who are involved in incidents in their private lives, on their own time, and away from the execution of their public duties.

As seen in the chart, Cheney looks very forthright, when compared to other officials sampled. That does not negate his example of stupid handling of a firearm, which must certainly have the NRA scrambling for talking points to do some damage control.

That said, we will now resume our harsh analysis of his execution of public duties, and criticism of his service to corporate interests at the expense of the public interest.

John Kerry weighs in on shooting

If "Deadeye Dick" Cheney were a Democrat

It was unfortunate that Dick Cheney had to go and shoot a lawyer. Really. He gets a lot of criticism for waiting several hours to tell the public about it. I wonder how it would be if he were a Democrat, would he have spoken up any quicker? This items looks at that possibility. More

Hurricane Katrina relief funds spent on porn by anti-porn Bush administration

While U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales squanders law enforcement resources to broaden his panty sniffing campaign to root out porn, FEMA was spending millions of taxpayer dollars that help put more porn in the hands of Americans.

Tens of millions of dollars of relief money for Hurricane Katrina was squandered in scams and poorly thought out projects, US government auditors reported yesterday. More

Minutemen protest in California

Two groups arrived to face off in Vista, California recently.

A group affiliated with the Minutemen Project chose a corner of a busy street where day laborers congregate to hold a protest of illegal immigration. Another group opposing the Minutemen, and thus supporting illegal immigration, protested in an area around the corner, with sheriff's deputies in riot gear staged between the two groups. More

Watch video of this event 12 MB

Identity theft problem was created by the government

For many years states have required the collection of Social Security numbers in order to issue a drivers license. Many people may not recall why this is.

It was a 1996 federal law that makes the availability of federal welfare funds contingent upon states collecting SSNs to assist in the enforcement of child support laws. One little problem though. This made IDENTITY THEFT really easy. More

Al Lewis "Grandpa Munster" dead at age 82 or 95

NEW YORK - Al Lewis, the cigar-chomping patriarch of "The Munsters" whose work as a basketball scout, restaurateur and political candidate never eclipsed his role as Grandpa from the television sitcom, died after years of failing health. He was 82.

The actor was widely reported to have been born in 1910, but his son Ted Lewis said Saturday that his father was born in 1923.. More

Parrot tells owner of cheating girlfriend

LONDON - Suzy Collins had been meeting ex-work colleague "Gary" for four months in the Leeds flat she shared with her partner Chris Taylor, according to reports.

Taylor grew suspicious of his live-in girlfriend when his pet parrot began to imitate her saying, “I love you, Gary.”

Things seems very odd to Taylor when Ziggy, an 8-year-old African gray parrot, would also make kissing noises whenever the name Gary was mentioned on TV. Ziggy would also mimic Suzy Collins saying, “Hiya, Gary,” every time she answered her mobile phone. More

Alien invasion we want to see

Dorismar -- aka Dora Noemi Kerchen -- has been many things: Playboy Playmate, calendar pinup, performer at a Democratic National Convention party and purveyor of sophisticated soft-core videos inspired by Girls Gone Wild.

Now, she qualifies as an ''Alien of Extraordinary Ability'' -- but that legal designation may not be enough to get her back into the United States.

This would be a real shame, as she has the ability to really put the "Guest" into the term "guest worker program". More

Osama bin Laden to start Book of Month club

Osama bin Laden has announced the start of his Book of the Month Club.

"I have always been a strong supporter of literacy, especially Koran reading", bin Laden said. "Now I can recommend specific titles that I find meaningful."

His first book recommendation is "Rogue State: A Guide to the World's Only Superpower", by William Blum and published in 2000. More

Americans are so stupid that a college education can not remedy it

You may have noticed the increasing number of stupid people found in most American cities and towns, but dismissed them with the thought that they were dropouts from education. That may not be so.

There is a high probability that the stupid person that is annoying you so much has a college degree. All those years of education, and being given certification that they learned something, could be useless. They may lack the basic skills to balance a checkbook, understand a credit card offer or read a passage of literature and understand what it means. More

Bush brain tapped to jump start Sharon brain

An emergency procedure was planned for this week to use George Bush's brain to jumpstart the brain of Israeli leader Ariel Sharon.

"Their brainwaves are remarkably similar", said doctor Yuval Peretz of Tel Aviv hospital. "We can hook them up and amplify the Bush EEG, thus boosting the Sharon brain into a start position." More

When Cops trade donuts and coffee for alcohol...

It gets ugly. Very ugly. Better to give them un unlimited supply of coffee, on the house. More

Top Ten Rejected Titles For 'Brokeback Mountain

10. "Bareback Mountin'"
9. "How The West Was Hung"
8. "Little Bathhouse on the Prairie"
7. "For a Few Dollars More We Can Make It a Threesome"
6. "Go West, Young Man...Now South..A Little More To The South... Oh God, Yes! Right There!"
5. "Butch Cassidy and the Smooth Boi"
4. "Homo On The Range"
3. "Broke My Back Mounting Him"
2. "Oklahomo"
1. "Fun With Dick In James"

Hookup for Condoleezza Rice NEW! Your submitted candidates!

Condoleezza Rice has gone to Russia and made statements that were disagreeable to Russian political leader Vladimir Zhirinovsky. He responded with a blistering attack, aimed at her feminine attributes.

"...she is a single woman who has no children. She loses her reason because of her late single status. Nature takes it all", Zhirinovsky said.

"Condoleezza Rice needs a company of soldiers. She needs to be taken to barracks where she would be satisfied. On the other hand, she can hardly be satisfied because of her age. This is a complex."

His tirade continues, but StaggerOn.org plans to fight back! More

Anti-Gay Pastor caught cruising for male "services"

OKLAHOMA CITY -- A pastor who has spoken out against homosexuality was arrested after propositioning a male undercover police officer outside a hotel, authorities said.

Claiming he was in the area "pastoring to police", the Rev. Lonnie Latham, 59, was booked into Oklahoma County Jail. More

WalMart offers special iPod, made of meat

If you got a Video iPod for the holidays this year, you should be thanking your lucky stars it didn’t come from the Hawaiian Keeaumoku Wal-Wart.

Rachel Cambra, a mom and an employee of that Wal-Mart store, gave her son a Christmas gift which she believed to be a Video iPod she had put on layaway. It turned out to be a wrapped-up piece of meat, about as useful as a 10 gig tenderloin. More

Who is Ann Coulter? Mysterious origins of crazy Annie

One mystery that has had us baffled for quite a while concerns the origins of Ann Coulter. Sure, she has an official bio and backstory, but the problem is that we can find no one to come forward and admit something like, "Oh yeah, we went to law school together and she was a very intense scholarly girl back then", or any such account. We got nothing.

But there is one amazing possibility no one else has considered, until now. More

Cheney suffers 117th heart attack, in recovery

Secret Location - Co-president Dick Cheney suffered his 117th heart attack recently at an undisclosed time.

"He just wheezed, gurgled and just sorta fell over", an unnamed source said. Cheney was immediately rushed to a facility staffed with "people who can make him go", the source reported. . More

Woman apprehended in cheesy murder plot

A Tennessee woman wanted money for modeling school, and decided to get it the easy way. Thinking a block of cheese was cocaine, she hired a hit man to kill the cheese owners.

Then things got really ugly. More

Arkansas man attempts to occupy White House, bypasses election

WASHINGTON -- Having had enough cleaning up the mess from the last Arkansas man who made it into the White House, the Secret Service immediately arrested the most recent man from Arkansas trying to occupy that venerable structure by scaling the fence.

Secret Service spokesman Jonathan Cherry, who identified the jumper as Shawn Cox, said Cox was being charged with unlawful entry.

Cherry said that Cox has previously come to the attention of the Secret Service, without providing further details.

Mr. Cox scaled the fence surrounding the White House yesterday while President George W. Bush was inside and was immediately apprehended by the Secret Service. More

Believed that Chelsea Clinton still lived at the White House, and that he was destined to marry her. More

Mall shows "Grinch" like holiday spirit to 4 year old girl

A mall in Massachusetts issued an apology after a 4-year-old girl was apparently told she was not allowed to sit on Santa's lap unless she purchased a $21 picture of the meeting, according to a Local 6 News report. More

Jail is a really really bad place. Honest.

In New Zealand, Rape Crisis has reacted with horror and disgust to some Auckland billboards. The A-class.co.nz signs depict a prison shower scene, with a bar of soap covered in blood. The tagline is 'Because jail sux'. More

Separated at Birth?

Gone in 60 seconds: Man stole car with no brakes

A Russian thief did not get very far after he stole a car from a repair shop - without realising the brakes had been removed.

The 24-year-old had taken the broken Nissan Primera from the garage in southern Moscow and tried to make a quick getaway. He survived the escapade, so did not make it to a Darwin award, but on this career path he could be a great contender. More

Male brothel opens to service women

Edmonds, Washington - A brothel has opened in this northwestern U.S. city featuring men who service women, and it is perfectly legal.

"Traditional brothels and escort services have offered what men want, which is an attractive woman to have sexual relations with them", said Marcy Park, owner of the What Womyn Want brothel.

"American women want attractive men too." More

BUSTED: Congressman Randy "Duke" Cunningham
Vote for terror war was purchased by defense contractor
How many other votes did they buy?

Shedding phony tears for the camera, Congressman Randy "Duke" Cunningham (R-CA) resigned from Congress Monday morning after pleading guilty to conspiring to take bribes in exchange for using his influence to help a defense contractor get business.

"I was not strong enough to face the truth," Cunningham said in a news conference outside the federal courthouse, his voice breaking. "The truth is I broke the law, concealed my conduct and disgraced my office." More

The latest scandal involved a defense contractor who bought his home for an inflated value, enabling him to buy a mansion in Rancho Santa Fe.

In service to God?

"We, his remaining friends, have spent the last day with Duke praying and talking about a new chapter in Duke's life, a chapter of service to God," Rep. Duncan Hunter (R-El Cajon) said.

Cunningham is pictured here expounding on moral issues with televangelist Paul Crouch of TBN.

Mr. Crouch, and his wife Jan, are the TBN version of Jim and Tammy Faye Baker knock offs.

A list of some of the loot he raked in. Here

Betrayed his colleagues.

Obtained a yacht, the "Duke-Stir" from a defense contractor and had it docked at a yacht club in Washington DC for which he obtained $3 million in federal funds for waterfront development.

Although Cunningham favored the death penalty for drug dealers, he lobbied for a much lighter sentence for his son, who was caught flying in 400 pounds of Marijuana bricks (worth $200,000.00) in a twin-engine plane, then selling the pot to two other men. (San Diego Union-Tribune. 18 November 1998)

Teachers charged for using appliances in school

St Paul, MN - Teachers in budget-stressed schools are accustomed to shelling out for paper, glue and pencils. But the staff here wasn't ready for this: a new fee for having coffee makers, microwaves and refrigerators in classrooms and offices.

While school districts around the country are placing limits on personal appliances in an attempt to hold down energy costs, St. Paul's pay-for-plug approach appears to be unique. Interim Superintendent Lou Kanavati described the $25 per appliance annual fee as one in a series of steps to save money. He said the district's energy costs this year could exceed $6 million -- far more than the $3.6 million officials budgeted for.

District bean counters, while good intentioned, have not thought through the unintended consequences of this policy. Power costs recouped may be more than offset by lost time as teachers walk to the lounge to get coffee and food. Some teachers may evade costs by smuggling appliances into school and using them clandestinely.

Notably, the district did not announce a policy of reimbursing teachers for energy costs of computers and lighting at home incurred preparing lesson plans, scheduling, and grading papers. By charging teachers for energy costs, they accept on principle that they should also reimburse them. More

Parents gone bad! - Deliberately expose their children to dangerous infections - Pox parties

After centuries of climbing up from ignorance of disease, and developments in science to advance health, many parents today are taking leave of their senses and engaging in a dangerous practice of deliberately exposing their children to an infectious disease. They claim they follow this practice in order to develop immunity, but the science differs from their urban legend driven theories. More

Lego Thief in Oregon sells his loot in online auctions

A 40-year-old man has been arrested for stealing Legos from several Target stores in Oregon.

William Swanberg was indicted by a Washington County grand jury on theft charges.

Police say Swanberg had been selling the stolen Legos on a Web site called "bricklink.com" a site that is similar to eBay, except it's only for Legos. More

Karl Rove relocated to office building far from White House

Washington D.C. - Presidential advisor Karl Rove has been relocated to a new office, in a building far from his former White House office. Read this staggeron.org exclusive here. More

Jean-Claude Van Damme to lead North Korean defense?

North Korea (GP) With no indications that he was suffering from delusions, son of North Korean leader Kim Jong Il, Kim Jong Chol has proposed that North Korea's defence should be headed by Hollywood star Jean-Claude Van Damme.

Kim Jong Chol has reportedly been dismissed by his father as "too girlish" to rule the country, but is a leading contender as his elder brother is currently in self-imposed exile in Europe.

He was reportedly inspired by Van Damme's terrorist-busting performance in 1995 film 'Sudden Death'. There are no confirmed reports that Kim Jong Chol has any desire to enlist the aid of California governor Arnold Schwartzenegger. More

Bird flu syptoms

The Center for Disease Control has released a list of symptoms of bird flu. If you experience any of the following, please seek medical treatment immediately:

1. High fever

2. Congestion

3. Nausea

4. Fatigue

5. Aching in the joints

6. An irresistible urge to crap on someone's windshield

Bush Decision Making Process - Explained Here

Harriet confesses "We are drinking buddies"

Also explains motives for nomination to Supreme Court, details of relationship with Bush

Washington (IPI) In a surprise press conference, former Supreme Court nominee Harriet Miers spoke up about details of her relationship with President George W. Bush. With an amazing degree of candor, Ms. Miers explained some of the motivations for the President to nominate her to the high court. Read the details

Enviromentalists decry Martian global warming

A spokesman for a Martian environmentalist group blamed the global warming of that planet on human activity.

Since 1999, observations of the nearby red planet have provided data supporting evidence that it is undergoing a phase of global warming. More

Bill Clinton proposes Business opportunity with Nigerians

Former U.S. President Bill Clinton has been very busy since leaving office.

Using the unique resources available as a former president, he has turned his talents of persuasion to raising investment funds from an unlikely source: Nigerian citizens.

Peggy Ngomo, of Lagos, was offered a business opportunity by Mr. Clinton.

"Yes, it was a very attractive offer, praise God, and he seemed so sincere", Ms. Ngomo reported. But she was not able to follow through on her end of the partnership.

"He kept wanting me to send him more money, and more money", she said, "and he said it was needed to file paperwork to free up my share of the investment."

It is estimated that several thousand Nigerians have been offered a business opportunity similar to what Ms. Ngomo received. StaggerOn.org has obtained documents that detail his business offer, and one can be found here. View It

Bush Presidents seen fishing in New Orleans flood water

Presidents George H., and George W. Bush were seen fishing in the New Orleans flood water on Tuesday.

Both men were aboard a fishing boat, motoring down the flooded streets and trolling for freshwater fish. More

British bank bans piggy banks, offensive to Muslims

Some Britsh banks are banning piggy banks because they may offend some Muslims. Halifax and NatWest banks have led the move to scrap the time-honoured symbol of saving from being given to children or used in their advertising, the Daily Express/Daily Star group reports here.

Muslims do not eat pork, as Islamic culture deems the pig to be an impure animal.

You may no longer "bring home the bacon" or "live high on the hog" if this trend keeps underway. More

Getting Mooned By Mars

In the years since the Viking probes sent back photos of the surface of Mars, some controversy has surrounded the images. Many believe they show a humanoid face carved into stone on the Martian surface. Photos taken since then by more advanced probes have not settled the question. However, the most recent photos from the European Space Agency probe showl in clear detail a large pair of buttocks sculpted on the Martian surface. More

Mr. Bill knew, Mr. Bush didn't

Hello. My name is Mr. Bill. I knew that New Orleans was in danger from a hurricane and flooding for many years. I even made a video of it with my friends. See what I knew and the president did not know. More

Castro seeks White House

In the wake of a U.S. Supreme Court ruling that promoting private enterprise that promises sales-tax windfalls for municipal coffers is a "public use" protected by the U.S. Constitution, Cuban leader Fidel Castro has filed suit to purchase the White House and turn the property into an amusement park. More

Bush Twins Enlist!

Crawford Texas-(UP) In an apparent move to shore up support for his war in Iraq, George Bush's twin daughters, Barbara and Jenna, have enlisted in the army.

"Let's kick some terrorist butt!" Jenna says. More

Drug warriors incompetent, losing battles, wasting money

Policy makers and legislators who wage the so-called War on Drugs have serious brain damage. One of their common schemes to mask their failure to rid the nation of illicit drugs is to arrest people whe have common household items that might be used to manufacture drugs. It no longer matters if actual drugs are involved. That would be too bothersome.

Here are details of a recent shakedown by federal thugs. More

Big Mac and Zyklon B to go!

Not one to let a great marketing opportunity to pass by, Ronald McDonald has built a burger franchise within a kilometer of the Nazi concentration camp, Dachau. Any attempt to lure the concentration camp visitors into town incites accusations of exploiting the 30,000 who died in the camp. The skin certainly prickles at the thought of the vulgar flyers that were slipped under the windscreen wipers of cars parked outside the camp in 1996: "Dear visitor, welcome to Dachau, welcome to McDonald's. Our restaurant's got 120 seats, about 40 outdoor seats and for our young guests an Indoor and Outdoor Playland. How to find us? Really simple. Just follow the picture! We're happy for your visit! Your McDonald's Restaurant, Dachau." The din of outrage that followed the distribution of these flyers was heard even at McDonald's headquarters in Chicago. A formal apology was swiftly made by the chief executive of McDonald's Germany to the head of the country's Jewish community. More

Your baby is a terror suspect!

Homeland Security says your cute little baby is a threat to national security. More

Russian spammer beaten to death, 70 million suspects

Vardan Kushnir, notorious for sending spam to each and every citizen of Russia who appeared to have an e-mail, was found dead in his Moscow apartment on Sunday, Interfax reported Monday. He died after suffering repeated blows to the head. You are one of the suspects. I am too. More

Shocking Saddam Hussein investigation reveals he is a Mexican

A recent investigation geared at building evidence for a trial against Saddam Hussein has revealed that he is, in fact, a Mexican.

"This puts a whole new spin into our case against him.", said assistant deputy prosecutor Gary Nebbing. "We plan to go ahead with all the original charges, and are looking at possibilies to add more charges that will assure he never hangs his sombrero in another palace again." More

Democrats contrive method to steal money

The Democratic Party, in an effort to suck cash out of unsuspecting dimwitted victims, have begun issuing so called "Democracy Bonds". Promising such howlers as to "Reform the political process by building a political party beholden only to the people, not the special interests", and to "Win elections in every state and territory of the United States, at every level of office", the bonds are sold on the Democratic Party web site. Prospective victims of this scheme are invited to check an initial amount, starting at $20, and pledge to donate that amount every month. Checked amounts go up to $125 and there is a place on the form to specify other, even greater amounts. The form includes a field that enables someone lured in by this scheme to check to make monthly contributions in the amount they specify, and have it automaticly charged to their credit card. There is no provision for issuing a refund if the Democratic Party fails to perform the promised services. When questioned about the legality of this scheme, SEC officials failed to respond. More

Bush Collides with Al Qaeda while on bicycle

In a stunning development, President Bush has collided with an Al Qaeda member while on a bicycle ride.

"We have captured a major operative in the Al Qaeda network", said presidential spokeshole Baxter Fitzroy, "and we expect him to provide much needed intelligence to this administration.". More

Ralph Nader called on the carpet for racial slur

If Ralph Nader doesn't stop dropping the N-bomb, Al Sharpton is going to wash out his mouth with soap. "I felt like a [n-word]," remarked the 70-year-old white multimillionaire graduate of Princeton University and Harvard Law School. More

Double dose of Pussy

Oregon kitten born with two faces, and, hopefully, at least nine lives. Gemini was born Sunday with two mouths, two tongues, two noses and four eyes. More

GO TO TOP OF PAGE