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Former Mexican president got wealthy from his gig

It appears the it is not just American presidents who accumulate wealth after "serving" the public.

Former Mexican president Vicente Fox has apparently done very well for himself by raking in the ameros after his gig in Mexico.

It all began with a few photos published in one of Mexico's most popular celebrity magazines.

The magazine, Quien, opened a window on Vicente Fox's post-presidential life nearly a year after he left office, treating Mexicans to photos of his newly renovated ranch, complete with a pool, artificial lake and expansive gardens. The glamorous spread prompted a public debate about how Fox could have earned enough as president to afford such luxuries. More

Buried in Stuff: How one woman escaped

Americans are buried in mounds and mounds of their possesions.

They have so many belongings that their homes can not contain it all, and many resort to renting storage space.

Nearly one in 10 American households now rents additional storage, and the Self Storage Association estimates that in 2007 there is a total 2.2 billion square feet of self-storage in the United States, or 79 square miles--more than three times the size of Manhattan. That, brags the association's web site, is "6.86 sq. ft. of self storage space for every man, woman, and child in the nation.

This is one woman's account of how she started to crawl out from under her pile of stuff. More

Staying Dry at Burning Man

Burning Man may have a rep as a haven for drug users, but you won't find 'em in Anonymous Camp.

The stereotype is true. A good portion, perhaps even the majority, of the costumed, dusty people you meet during a night at Burning Man � the massive, hedonistic annual artfest � are walking around as high as a four-story desert sculpture.

But there's a faction of folks attending the weeklong event who choose to do it drug-free, for reasons ranging from preference to survival. Visit Anonymous Camp for one of several daily Alcoholics Anonymous meetings offered in Black Rock City, and you'll meet plenty of people who want to keep their own mind-altering experiences clean and sober. More

Beer cans block Ohio man's escape from burning house

FRANKLIN TOWNSHIP, OH -- A Cincinnati area man who died in a house fire early Wednesday morning may have survived if his escape had not been blocked by a large pile of beer cans. Fire crews were called to the home near Cincinnati before 6 a.m. and found heavy smoke and fire coming from the structure.

The stereotype is true. A good portion, perhaps even the majority, of the costumed, dusty people you meet during a night at Burning Man � the massive, hedonistic annual artfest � are walking around as high as a four-story desert sculpture.

Firefighters initially said no one was hurt, but one person, Robert McCarty, 37, was unaccounted for.

Crews working inside the home found McCarty's body shortly after 10 a.m., and investigators said his exit was blocked by a 5-foot tall stack of beer cans. More

'Burning Man' gets torched ahead of schedule

BLACK ROCK DESERT, NEV. - A San Francisco man was arrested on felony arson charges today after the 40-foot-tall "Man" statue whose torching is the annual highlight of the Burning Man festival in Nevada went up in flames four days early, authorities said.

Paul Addis, 35, of San Francisco, was booked into the Pershing County Jail in Nevada on the arson charge and misdemeanor possession of fireworks, Sheriff Ron Skinner said.

Festival organizers, meanwhile, pondered the smoldering remains of the Man and promised to rebuild the big guy in time for Saturday's regularly scheduled burn in the Black Rock Desert north of Reno.

"The Man is still standing, and an assessment is under way to determine the structural integrity of the Man and the Green Man Pavilion," according to a statement posted today at www.burningman.com. "The event will continue as scheduled." More

Reptiles found in Saudi's luggage

Cairo, EGYPT -- A Saudi man�s attempt to smuggle live reptiles out of Egypt in his hand luggage has been foiled by horrified security officers at Cairo airport.

Snakes, chameleons and baby crocodiles were found in the 22-year-old�s bags as he tried to board a Saudi-bound flight.

Police had become suspicious when X-ray machines at the departure gate gave odd readings. Among the reptiles they found was a cobra, squirming to escape.

The animals were confiscated and turned over to Cairo Zoo.R. More

Stripper Saves Client with CPR

PORT ST. LUCIE, FL -- Karnesha Nantz gave an unexpected performance Friday morning.

The exotic dancer went to a Port St. Lucie, Florida home to entertain 46-year-old Daniel Karpisnki on several occasions, but this time Nantz noticed something wrong.

Nantz said Karpinski was sitting on his couch watching her dance for about 20 minutes. Facing a television with her back toward him, she asked him, "Do you like this, baby?" while swiveling her hips back and forth, she said.

She turned around and realized her 46-year-old client had passed out. "He looked like he was dead," Nantz said. "I had to pull him to the floor, and I tilted his head."

Nantz started CPR. More

Zoo faces charges for selling animals as food

BERLIN Germany - A mayor in eastern Germany has filed charges against workers at his local zoo for shooting animals and selling them as meat.

A spokeswoman for the mayor's office said deer were among the animals killed and sold by workers at Erfurt Zoo without permission over a number of years.

"The case is now with the state prosecutors," said the spokeswoman, declining to give further details.

The German Animal Protection League demanded a review of controls at the zoo and at all other institutions with animals in the state of Thuringia.

"We are worried this is only the tip of the iceberg," said Wolfgang Apel, president of the League, who also said the case raised serious questions about the zoo's management. More

Yee Haw, Let The Games Begin

Four by fours, swimmin' holes, gun racks, six packs and barbecued road kill - the stuff of redneck legend.

To many being called a "redneck" may be offensive, but not to some people who met in East Dublin, Georgia for a festival that celebrates just that... being a redneck.

They says they're proud to participate in all things considered redneck at the Redneck Games.

Bobbing for pigs feet was one of the highlights of the games.

One woman beat out a group of pot-bellied men to win the top prize.. More

Al Gore III Busted with dope in Prius

Perhaps inspired by Paris Hilton, Al Gore III displayed the magnificent gene pool he swims in by getting busted driving a Prius at 100 mph while trafficking in dope and pills.

Al Gore III, the 24-year-old son of the former vice president, was booked on pot-and-pill-possession charges after police clocked him speeding 100 mph down a southern California highway in his eco-friendly Toyota Prius.

It was his second dope arrest in four years.

When deputies searched the car they found pot, along with Valium, Xanax, Vicodin and Adderall. He is currently being held at the Santa Ana Inmate Reception Center on $20,000 bail. More

Clinton, Gore Get Rich Post-White House

When Bill Clinton and Al Gore left the White House, they both had serious financial problems. Now they both have serious cash.

President Clinton left power in 2001 dogged by legal bills. Last year he made more than $10 million in paid speeches, according to federal filings released by his wife's presidential campaign.

"I like to kid my husband we never had any money, and then he gets out of the White House, and he starts making it, and that's fine with me," New York Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton has joked.

But it's Gore, Clinton's former No. 2, who is really raking it in.

After his failed presidential run, a bearded and embattled Gore signed on as an adviser with a then-obscure Internet company called Google.

He went on to join the board of Apple, then he started his own profitable cable company and an asset management firm. More

Car Tent Makes Homelessness a thing of the past

Hotels are really expensive, especially in dense metropolitan areas such as Manhattan. If you're looking to crash in a city but don't feel like dropping bills on a closet-sized hotel room, just go camping in your Car Tent.

Sure, camping on the side of the road is illegal and dangerous, but no one will know you're there. That's because the Car Tent looks like a car with a cover on it, keeping you hidden from sight while you live the dream of being so cheap that you're willing to literally sleep in the gutter to save a buck. More

Free Speech Dead in Berkeley

Four decades ago a free speech movement kicked off on a Berkeley campus, but has now appeared to have kicked the bucket.

DeezTeez.com, a San Leandro silkscreener and purveyor of wearable Adam Sandler humor recently pulled its "Rutgers ... Nappy Headed Hoes Basketball Team" shirt off its Web site after a group of activists launched an online protest rally and stormed a Berkeley retailer earlier this month.

The navy-blue shirts, which depict a basketball with a picked-out Afro, sparked the ire of some Cal students and staff, who recently walked en masse into T-Shirt Orgy, a basement shop within the Bear Basics store on Telegraph Avenue, and demanded that the "nappy" shirt come down.

Deez' owners don't view the shirts as racist � it's all 'hood to them. Their designs regularly crib from hip-hop lyrics: "Where My Hose At?" shows up next to the depiction of a firefighter. "Nuthin' But a G-String," which accompanies a burlesque dancer, plays on a song title from Dr. Dre's 1992 album The Chronic. More

Bikini baristas serve it up in Oregon

Salem, OR - When Adam Marshall and Steven Rotan opened their drive-through coffee shop Coffee Nation on Mission Street in January, they knew they were going to face a challenge.

The state was requiring them to install a median that would block left-turn access to their shop, which they feared would slow business.

Instead of sulking, the Salem brothers got to work on a promotional plan. That plan now has shop employees sporting an unusual uniform: bikinis.

"It's really worked," said Marshall, 28. "Our profits are going up every day." More

Teacher accused of selling kid's jacket on eBay

Hillsboro, OR � A Hillsboro mother found her daughter's missing winter coat on eBay, and now a teacher at the girl's elementary school faces charges of theft and computer crimes.

Elizabeth Logan, 41,is on paid administrative leave from Jackson Elementary. She denies stealing the coat, saying she got it from a lost-and-found, Cmdr. Chris Skinner said.

The mother searched the school's lost and found for the coat, then decided to turn to eBay for a replacement. After finding a seemingly identical coat, she noticed that the seller was from Hillsboro. More

Iranian police crack down on women's clothing

The police bus screeches to a halt at a Tehran square packed with traffic. The officers leap out and begin spot checks on passing pedestrians and cars.

Police work apparently like any other place in the world. But here in the Iranian capital their targets are women deemed to have infringed the Islamic republic's strict dress rules.

"For God's sake no pictures!" yells a mother whose daughter has just been stopped by the male officers for her Islamic headscarf (hijab) being pushed too far back and revealing an excessive amount of hair.

The dusk patrol in Tehran's western quarter of Shahrak-e Gharb is part of a nationwide crackdown aimed at "guiding" women to adhere to the Islamic dress code, which since the 1979 revolution requires women in Iran to cover their heads and bodily contours. More

Arrrrr, maties -- Pyratecon hits New Orleans

New Orlean s, LA - The costumed pirate wore a plumed hat and held a squat bottle labeled "rum" in his hand. Inside the bottle, dark liquid sloshed and fizzed.

"It's Coke. I didn't think rum would be appropriate at a school," said Capt. Arrrghdee (pronounced R.D., with "emphasis on the arrrrrrr"), otherwise known as Richard Reid of Deer Park, Texas.

He's among at least 750 people attending "Pyratecon," a New Orleans weekend of piratical dress-up and lore. The weekend gathering also includes good deeds, such as giving supplies to a school re-emerging from Hurricane Katrina.

Pirates are hot these days, thanks in part to Johnny Depp and "Pirates of the Caribbean." But pirates have had a place in popular culture at least since Captain Charles Johnson (or was it Daniel Defoe?) published "A General History of the Robberies and Murders Of the most Notorious Pyrates" in 1724. More

Don't pick on these Gays, they pack heat

On a crisp Sunday morning, Nicki Stallard closes one mascara-coated eye and focuses intently on her target. Her long fingers are wrapped around the handle of a Colt .45; black go-go boots hug her muscular legs, which are firmly set in shooting stance. As she rapidly fires off rounds of ammunition, shells fall to the ground, rolling under her stacked platform heels.

Nicki Stallard isn't your average lady. She was born a man..

Stallard, who has been living as a woman for the past year and a half, is the coordinator of the San Jose chapter of the Pink Pistols -- a national organization that encourages gay, lesbian and transgender people to arm themselves to prevent hate crimes. Part social gun club, part political platform, the group's slogans are, "Armed gays don't get bashed" and "Pick on someone your own caliber." More

Hooters Opens Restaurant in Israel

Hooters, the restaurant chain known for its tasty wings and scantily clad servers, is heading to Israel.

Atlanta-based Hooters of America Inc. said in a statement Monday that it has reached a franchise deal with Ilana and Ofer Ahiraz to open the first Hooters restaurant this year in Israel, with several more locations in Israel to follow.

The first restaurant will be in Tel Aviv, Hooters spokesman Mike McNeil said Tuesday. The franchisees are from Israel. Eventually, other parts of the country might be considered for locations, but there have been no decisions about where, McNeil said.

�For the most part, it will be identical to what you�re going to see in the United States � the same uniform for the girls, chicken wings and burgers,� he said.. More

Hillary Clinton Attempting to Muff the Gay Vote

Hillary Clinton is facing stiff competition in her pursuit of influential gay Democrats. Unlike the election of 2004, when Howard Dean had the distinction of having fought for a civil-unions bill when he was governor of Vermont, the three leading Democratic candidates have virtually identical stances on the most visible gay issues.

Speaking for the second time this month in front of a predominantly gay audience, Hillary Clinton assured the crowd at a Gay Men�s Health Crisis dinner at Chelsea Piers that help was on the way.

She guaranteed her support of their issues �when I�m President,� and pointedly referred to a special AIDS grant she pushed through Congress for the first time �since the end of the last Clinton administration.�.

The crowd laughed appreciatively at what was a well-worn bit about the Clinton restoration, and an acknowledgement of the influence of the gay fund-raisers and activists who may put her in the White House. More

Maya priests to purify sacred site after Bush visit

GUATEMALA CITY -- Mayan priests will purify a sacred archaeological site to eliminate "bad spirits" after President Bush visits next week, an official with close ties to the group said Thursday.

"That a person like (Bush), with the persecution of our migrant brothers in the United States, with the wars he has provoked, is going to walk in our sacred lands, is an offense for the Mayan people and their culture," Juan Tiney, the director of a Mayan nongovernmental organization with close ties to Mayan religious and political leaders, said Thursday.

It is likely that Bush will leave behind a stench of sulfur wherever he goes. He is seen in this photo flashing a salute of allegiance to his venerable leader. More

Molly Ivins Dead at 62 of Breast Cancer

Austin, TX - Columnist Molly Ivins died at her Austin, Texas home in hospice care on January 31, 2007, at age 62 after a prolonged struggle with breast cancer. A journalist who had a style of writing that made for great humor, Ms. Ivins said of her illness, "Having breast cancer is massive amounts of no fun. First they mutilate you; then they poison you; then they burn you. I have been on blind dates better than that."

Ivins was born in California, and raised in Houston, Texas. She had a long career in journalism, including when she became a columnist on the Dallas Times-Herald in 1982. There she opined of one Texas legislator that, "If his IQ were any lower, they'd have to water him twice a day," a reader complained, "Molly Ivins can't say that, can she?" - which became the paper's catchphrase for marketing her, and the title of her first book.

She rose to national prominence along with George Bush. It was Ivins who gave the president the nickname Shrub after he had called one of his failed oil companies "arbusto", thinking it was Spanish for bush.Here are a few links to get to better know this remarkable woman.

Molly Ivins' column in the Fort Worth Star-Telegram
Molly Ivins quotations
Texas Observer Tribute

Danish Bikini Bandits Draw Attention to Speed Signs

Copenhagen, Denmark - A campaign by the Danish Road Safety Council aims to get motorists to slow down to 50 km in cities. The Danish Safety Council has decided to draw attention to speed signs by using sexy, half naked girls - Bikini Bandits. They made a movie with the Bikini Bandits, who stay on the roads and wave with speed signs.

This movie aims to draw attention to speed signs and speed limits in Denmark. Despite a decrease in speed violations, 7 out of 10 Danes still exceed the speed limit on a regular basis. Respecting the speed limits is the simplest way to save lives. Watch the Video

Give us all Your Money

For you people who are bored with gambling in online casinos, weary of hacking through the stilted English of Nigerian 419 scam operators, and have no possible room for the latest "treasure" acquired from eBay, there is a new painless way to depart with your worldly wealth.

The operators of the giveusallyourmoney.com site are willing to help you part with any remaining funds that survived the KwanHannaMas holidays. It is an easy click to get a form where you fill in your credit card numbers and data. Then you click once to send. There will be no tacky eBay items to wait for, no tedious conversations with pushy Nigerians, and no seizure inducing flashy casino graphics.

Currently, there is no provision for giving away cash or real estate. Give Away all Your Money

Santa's Butt Beer Banned in Maine

Bangor, ME - The Maine Civil Liberties Union wants Santa’s Butt in beer coolers by Christmas.

In what its staff attorney called a case of government censorship, the MCLU on Thursday sued the Maine Bureau of Liquor Enforcement in federal court over the agency’s refusal to let a specialty beer distributor sell three imported brews because their labels were deemed "undignified and improper." One beer features Santa Claus on its label, while the others feature artwork that includes depictions of bare-breasted women.

"There is no good reason for the state to censor art, even art found on a beer label," Zachary Heiden, staff attorney for the MCLU, said Thursday in a news release announcing the lawsuit. "Artistic expression is entitled to the highest level of protection under the First Amendment." More

Beware of Bad Santas

Portland, OR - If you find yourself in Portland this year you might be confronted with the sight of 200 drunken Santas swarming up West Burnside, swigging from Mr. Clean bottles and singing lewd perversions of Christmas carols. A joyously anarchic combination of Bad Santa, Mardi Gras, flashmob and peyote-eggnog hallucination, the bawdy barhop known as Santacon is organized by the merry pranksters of the Cacophony Society and has expanded to more than three dozen cities worldwide since it first hit Portland 10 years ago.

The draw of the event is obvious: If perpetuating the Santa Claus scam is a way of preserving childhood, then perpetrating Santacon is a way of reclaiming immaturity. The Kringle mobsters, who address one another only as 'Santa' (and answer most questions that way, too), hand out candy to the kids and sex toys to the grownups. More

WalMart Bans Delivery Guy For Looking Like Osama

A Buenos Aires Walmart has banned potato chip delivery driver Oscar Brufani, saying he looks too much like Osama Bin Laden.

Brufani is suing Walmart to let him deliver his chips.

In a press release, Walmart said Brufani's allegations were unfounded. The retailer alluded to a company dress code, though it didn't say how Brufani might have violated it, or how the dress code applied to a potato chip delivery person. More

Sexy Halloween styles for girls frighten adults

Many girls are dressing for Halloween in costumes that look like they are turning tricks instead of seeking treats.

Halloween hasn’t changed much for boys: Gory get ups and monster masks still sell. But in the last few years costumes for girls have traded silly and sweet for skimpy and sexy.

It’s gotten so bad, one mother on an Internet bulletin board suggested renaming the holiday Dress Like a Prostitute Day.

"That’s an awful thing to say," the woman wrote. "But that’s what some of these costumes look like to me."

Many blame pop culture. Racy television shows and music videos teem with images of teenage girls. Child beauty pageants feature questionable costumes, while corporations make billions selling sexy products to girls too young to understand their significance. More

Killer Teddy Bear slaughters 2500

Milford, N.H - Most teddy bears appear cute and cuddly, but one in New Hampshire has brought destruction and loss of life.

This killer bear has been implicated in 2,500 deaths. Of trout, that is. State officials say a teddy bear dropped into a pool at a Fish and Game Department hatchery earlier this month clogged a drain. The clog blocked the flow of oxygen to the pool and suffocated the fish.

Hatcheries supervisor Robert Fawcett said the bear is believed to be the first stuffed bear to cause fatalities at the facility.

"We've had pipes get clogged, but it's usually with more naturally occurring things like a frog or even a dead muskrat," he said. "This one turned out to be a teddy bear and we don't know how it got there." More

Crikey! Steve Irwin 'Crocodile Hunter' killed by stingray

Queensland, Australia - Australian naturalist and television personality Steve Irwin has been killed by a stingray during a diving expedition off the Australian coast.

Irwin, 44, died after being struck in the chest by the stingray's barb while he was filming a documentary in Queensland's Great Barrier Reef.

Irwin's friend of 20 years, Ferre De Deyne said Irwin had been struck by the stingray while filming. "The stingray just happened to be swimming around and out of the blue whacked his tail at him," he said.

More than 500 million people knew of Irwin, with his programs screened in more than 130 countries. More

"Crikey, mate. You're far safer dealing with crocodiles and western diamondback rattlesnakes than the executives and the producers and all those sharks in the big MGM building." - Steve Irwin

Pot Growing at Duluth Police Department

Duluth, MN - There is a saying, that to get the best drugs you must go see a cop.

In Duluth that is evidently the case. Reporter Janna Goerdt, of the Duluth News Tribune, uncovered a dozen marijuana plants growing in western Duluth.

The pot wasn't growing off an ATV trail. And she didn't find it in the woods. Goerdt found the marijuana growing in a planter near the front door of the West Duluth police substation. More

StaggerOn Video Banned on YouTube

A video that was produced by StaggerOn.org was banned by the video sharing site YouTube.

The video, which depicts Mexican flags and a sign with the racist phrase "La Raza" being set on fire, had been posted on the site in early June. It was removed from the site on June 26th.

YouTube had alleged that the video had violated its terms of use, but was unable to specify what terms had been violated and what aspect of the video was in violation.

User comments on the video were mostly positive. There were some negative comments, and some of them are included here in their entirety to show the level of dialog.

"fucking idiots get a fucking life damn white trash mad cuz where taking your own fucking country ha." - bayareasexy

"SO YOU THINK YOUR CLEVER AND FUNNY BY DOING STUPID SHIT LIKE THIS HA? YOU FUCKED UP HOMIE." - djghorizon

Although YouTube has banned the Mexican flag burning video, you can still watch it on this site. See the Video

Terrorism, Global Warming, Poverty, Cheap Music

St. Petersburg, Russia - The British recording industry lobbying group, BPI, has written a letter urging the UK foreign secretary to make sure that a discussion of AllofMP3.com will take place at the latest G8 summit.

So now, among the talk of terrorism, poverty and global warming world leaders are going to be concerned with a website that sells music cheaper than the industry likes.

Alleging that the music site is illegal, the BPI is suing the website, claiming it is breaking UK law by selling music there without the necessary licence. More

Chinese workers live and work in "iPod City"

In much the same way that we'd rather not think about how the Big Macs we eat were produced, we also often ignore the manner in which our favorite gadgets are manufactured, because it's not as fun listening to tunes when you consider that the person who put together your DAP could be living like an indentured servant.

According to a recent report about "iPod City," indentured servitude might not be a bad description of the working conditions inside the city-size Chinese factories that assemble the iPod nano and Shuffle.

This is where the employees reportedly make about $50-a-month and live in crowded dormitories as thanks for working 15-hour days. More

Man Pays Speeding Ticket 52 Years Later

Philadelphia, PA - A British man finally got around to paying a speeding ticket he received in Philadelphia's Fairmount Park nearly 52 years ago.

Park officials received a letter and a five-pound note this week from John Gedge, who's now 84 and living in a nursing home in East Sussex, England.

Five pounds was worth about $14 in 1954, and about $9 today. More

Norway dumps Wal-Mart stock

Norwegian Finance Minister Kristin Halvorsen revealed Tuesday that two new stocks will be banned from the country's so-called "oil fund," which now is called the Norwegian Government Pension Fund - Global and currently is worth about USD 250 billion. It ranks as one of the biggest pension funds in the world.

The ministry reported that it's excluding Wal-Mart Stores Inc, Wal-Mart de Mexico and Freeport McMoRan Copper and Gold Inc from the fund "in line with recommendations from the Council on Ethics for the Fund."

Halvorsen's finance ministry officials cited "serious" and "systematic violations of human rights and labour rights" as its reason for pulling out of its Wal-Mart investments. More

'Juan Valdez' picks his last coffee bean

BOGOTA, Colombia - After 37 years of schlepping around sacks of coffee beans with his trusty mule, Conchita, Juan Valdez is calling it quits

Carlos Sanchez, the actor who has portrayed Juan Valdez, has promoted Colombian coffee since 1969 with a leather bag, bushy mustache and straw hat typical of rural Colombia. That Juan Valdez trademark has become one of the world's most recognizable, and the fictional figure has become one of the most famous Colombians of all time. More

Spud Wars - Episode 9: A New Franchise

Star Trek meets Photoshop meets centerfolds

There is a stereotype of Star Trek fans (sometimes called Trekkies) being socially awkward nerdy types whose social lives consist of dressing up as characters fron the Trek universe.

This is probably just a stereotype, but one Trekkie obviously has a LOT of time on his hands

A blogger who identifies himself as "TrekMaster" has an entire gallery of attractive well endowed women who he has photo-manipulated into costumes one might find in a Star Trek episode or movie.

TrekMaster takes some artistic license with the idea, but it is definitely in keeping with the spirit of Star Trek. Starting with the very first episode, exotic women in skimpy costumes has been a staple of the series. More

Proof of Global Warming

Canada Post rejects topless stamps

CALGARY, Canada - Sultry personal postage stamp images have been returned-to-sender by Canada Post, leaving a Calgary photographer claiming his work is being censored.

Photographer Frederick Potter said he was excited to learn Canada Post offers a service that allows people to customize and order stamps by using their own photographs. But when some artistic shots of his Ukrainian-born wife Oleanna Potter topless, and one with Maple Leaf flags covering her breasts, were rejected as inappropriate, Frederick said he was baffled.

‘It’s arbitrary censorship,’ he said. ‘Would a picture of a baby on a bearskin rug be considered child pornography? Where does it end?

Having Oleanna on a postage stamp is kind of a celebration of her becoming a Canadian.” More

Gas station sued for prices being too cheap

Greenville, SC - A South Carolina gas station has sued saying that a competitor's lower per gallon prices at the pump have caused them to lose profits.

Pantry Incorporated owns a gas station in Gaffney. It sued in Cherokee County, alleging that Petro Express had kept prices at two of its Gaffney stations below cost.

Consider that for a moment. A gas station raises its prices so as to rake in more profit, and when a competitor does not participate in the scheme, business will naturally move to them. So they sue the competitor. It will be interesting to find a jury (outside of California) that are dumb enough to rubber stamp that lawsuit. More

Did you ever eat a Pink Taco? Do you want cheese with it?

Scottsdale, Arizona - In a city aspiring to be defined by its good taste, a new Mexican restaurant, the Pink Taco, is opening with a name that some find offensive.

Sounding more strip club than cantina, the restaurant isn't coy about the double entendre. "(The name) came out of a dish (that's on the menu), but it's tongue-in-cheek. It was amusing, catchy," Pink Taco CEO Harry Morton said. "You've got to stand out from the rest of the crowd.".

Mayor Mary Manross was so put off by the name, a slang term for vagina, that she asked its owner to change it.

"I don't appreciate anything that offends more than half the population," Manross said. "But he said no and heard my concern. I really didn't want to see a business with that name opening anywhere here." More

US marines offer Babylon apology

A senior US marine officer says he is willing to apologise for the damage caused by his troops to the ancient Iraqi site of Babylon.

US forces built a helicopter pad on the ancient ruins and filled their sandbags with archaeological material in the months following the 2003 invasion.

Colonel Coleman was chief of staff at Babylon when it was occupied by the First Marine Expeditionary Force.

The 2,000 troops who were deployed there did immense damage as they set up camp amidst the ruins of old temples.

A helicopter pad was constructed at the site. The vibration from landings led the roof of one building to collapse.

Babylon's Hanging Gardens were among the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World. More

Fruitcake from 1962 emerges

There is a theory that there are only 5 fruitcakes in the world, and they keep getting passed round as gifts. If that is true, then there are now 6 fruitcakes in circulation.

Lance Nesta has never much cared for the taste of fruitcake, so when his two aunts sent him one in November 1962 he stashed it away in his stuff and forgot about it. He still has it, after more than four decades.

"I was in the Army in 1962 and stationed in Alaska when my Mom told me that my two aunts were sending me a fruitcake for Christmas," Nesta said. "She knew I hated the damn things, but she said she didn’t have the heart to tell my aunts, who had already mailed it." More

US Immigration Policy explained

U.S. immigration policy can seem baffling to anyone on the outside looking in.

This pictorial shows some of the key players and interests in the hope of shedding some light on the topic.

Find out who gets in, why they get in, who benefits, and what are some of the hidden agendas served by the policy in this StaggerOn.org exclusive. More

Loompanics Books closes doors

Loompanics Unlimited, publisher of fringe and countercultural books, is going out of business due to declining sales. Statement from Loompanics owner:

Owning Loompanics has been the biggest thrill of my life – for 30 years I got to live my dream (and stick it to the man!). I want to thank everyone who made it possible: Our customers, authors, artists, reviewers, interviewers, vendors, and most of all, the super efficient Loompanics staff...

...and everyone who made it necessary! All the censors, prudes, prigs and pigs in the world, especially the U.S.A...

I hoped this day would never come, but sales have been steadily falling for several years, and we just can't keep the place going any longer! Thank you one and all, for thirty fantastic years! – Mike Hoy, Pres.. More

Easter Bunny booted from St. Paul city office

A petty official in St. Paul, MN removed a cloth Easter bunny, pastel-colored eggs and a sign with the words "Happy Easter" from the City Hall lobby.

Tyrone Terrill, the city's human rights director, asked that the decorations be removed out of concern that it would offend non-Christians.

Terrill failed to explain what a pagan symbol had to do with Christians, or how non-Christians would be offended by a non-Christian symbol. This left rational thinking people scratching their head wondering what the fuss was all about.

Terrill also said no citizen had complained to him. More

Stop time with your mind

Einstein demonstrated that time is relative.

But the rabbit-hole goes much deeper. Quantum physics discovered that consciousness is entangled in matter in some inexplicable ways; but other than the very fast, or very small, or very large, we tend to assume our “ordinary” reality conforms more to the laws of Newton. Simple cause and effect unfolding with clockwork constancy —well, it’s time to shatter this assumption. Let’s stop time. More

Beer pours from kitchen faucet

David Hasselhoff accused of domestic battery

Less than a month after filing for divorce, David Hasselhoff's estranged wife has filed for a court order on a claim of domestic violence by the former Baywatch star.

Actress Pamela Bach, 42, made the filing against Hasselhoff, 53, in the Los Angeles Superior Court, the court's website shows.

Makes one wonder if Hasselhoff was listening to Yanni CDs. More

Patriot Act passed, used to lock up US citizens, not terrorists

Despite reassurances from Bush aministration paid propagandists, the Patriot Act is used to harass and annoy Americans, with almost no prosecution of terrorists being done.

If you buy a cold or allergy medicine, or pay off your credit card, you are a possible enemy of the Bush regime, and you and will come under suspicion. Eventually you may be able to clear your name. More

Music star Yanni arrested for domestic battery - Yanni's greatest hits?

Music superstar Yanni was arrested at his Manalapan home early Friday morning after his girlfriend accused him of slapping and shaking her during a late-night argument.

The international New Age icon spent 12 hours at the Palm Beach County Jail before being released Friday afternoon. He did not have to post bond, but he is barred from contact with his girlfriend and is required to check in daily with court workers.

Manalapan police were called to the home of the 51-year-old musician - whose legal name is John Y. Christopher - late Thursday after his girlfriend called 911 from a locked bathroom, according to a police report. More

StaggerOn.org gets reviewed by Zeph Report

Shortwave, internet and podcast personality Zeph Daniel visited StaggerOn.org recently and discussed the site with his co hosts Trish, and Frankie. Describing the site as "iconoclastic" they viewed several articles and items, while describing them to their audience.

Zeph's website, the Zeph Report, is home of his podcasts which include the Zeph Report and Channel Z. He and his guests discuss current events from a spiritual perspective, with commentary on news stories. One hour of his programming is broadcast daily on shortwave, and includes taking calls from listeners. Listen

Rumsfeld wanted to hit Iraq after 9/11

Hours after a commercial plane struck the Pentagon on September 11 2001 the US defence secretary, Donald Rumsfeld, was issuing rapid orders to his aides to look for evidence of Iraqi involvement, according to notes taken by one of them. More

Haliburton to be given $385M, disinformation campaign lauched to cover up what the funds are to be used for.

KBR, the engineering and construction subsidiary of Halliburton Co. has been awarded a contingency contract from the Department of Homeland Security.

The purported reason for funneling all these funds to the company is to to supports it Immigration and Customs Enforcement facilities in the event of an emergency.

This is unlikely, as the official Bush policy is that illegal aliens are no longer considered "illegal". They are to be given amnesty and mainstreamed into the economy. This disinformation was manufactured to hide the real reason that Haliburton is being given these funds, which is likely that Bush cronies are looting the public treasury. More

How the Cheney Shootergate scandal measures up

The American press has been critical of "Deadeye Dick" Cheney for being slow to come to them with an explanation of his hunting accident in which he shot Austin attorney Harry Whittington. A look at the timelines of other public officials involved in incidents has shown that Cheney has been quicker to release information to the media than they have been.

To keep the comparison fair, this will only include officials who are involved in incidents in their private lives, on their own time, and away from the execution of their public duties.

As seen in the chart, Cheney looks very forthright, when compared to other officials sampled. That does not negate his example of stupid handling of a firearm, which must certainly have the NRA scrambling for talking points to do some damage control.

That said, we will now resume our harsh analysis of his execution of public duties, and criticism of his service to corporate interests at the expense of the public interest.

John Kerry weighs in on shooting

If "Deadeye Dick" Cheney were a Democrat

It was unfortunate that Dick Cheney had to go and shoot a lawyer. Really. He gets a lot of criticism for waiting several hours to tell the public about it. I wonder how it would be if he were a Democrat, would he have spoken up any quicker? This items looks at that possibility. More

Hurricane Katrina relief funds spent on porn by anti-porn Bush administration

While U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales squanders law enforcement resources to broaden his panty sniffing campaign to root out porn, FEMA was spending millions of taxpayer dollars that help put more porn in the hands of Americans.

Tens of millions of dollars of relief money for Hurricane Katrina was squandered in scams and poorly thought out projects, US government auditors reported yesterday. More

Minutemen protest in California

Two groups arrived to face off in Vista, California recently.

A group affiliated with the Minutemen Project chose a corner of a busy street where day laborers congregate to hold a protest of illegal immigration. Another group opposing the Minutemen, and thus supporting illegal immigration, protested in an area around the corner, with sheriff's deputies in riot gear staged between the two groups. More

Watch video of this event 12 MB

Identity theft problem was created by the government

For many years states have required the collection of Social Security numbers in order to issue a drivers license. Many people may not recall why this is.

It was a 1996 federal law that makes the availability of federal welfare funds contingent upon states collecting SSNs to assist in the enforcement of child support laws. One little problem though. This made IDENTITY THEFT really easy. More

Al Lewis "Grandpa Munster" dead at age 82 or 95

NEW YORK - Al Lewis, the cigar-chomping patriarch of "The Munsters" whose work as a basketball scout, restaurateur and political candidate never eclipsed his role as Grandpa from the television sitcom, died after years of failing health. He was 82.

The actor was widely reported to have been born in 1910, but his son Ted Lewis said Saturday that his father was born in 1923.. More

Parrot tells owner of cheating girlfriend

LONDON - Suzy Collins had been meeting ex-work colleague "Gary" for four months in the Leeds flat she shared with her partner Chris Taylor, according to reports.

Taylor grew suspicious of his live-in girlfriend when his pet parrot began to imitate her saying, “I love you, Gary.”

Things seems very odd to Taylor when Ziggy, an 8-year-old African gray parrot, would also make kissing noises whenever the name Gary was mentioned on TV. Ziggy would also mimic Suzy Collins saying, “Hiya, Gary,” every time she answered her mobile phone. More

Alien invasion we want to see

Dorismar -- aka Dora Noemi Kerchen -- has been many things: Playboy Playmate, calendar pinup, performer at a Democratic National Convention party and purveyor of sophisticated soft-core videos inspired by Girls Gone Wild.

Now, she qualifies as an ''Alien of Extraordinary Ability'' -- but that legal designation may not be enough to get her back into the United States.

This would be a real shame, as she has the ability to really put the "Guest" into the term "guest worker program". More

Osama bin Laden to start Book of Month club

Osama bin Laden has announced the start of his Book of the Month Club.

"I have always been a strong supporter of literacy, especially Koran reading", bin Laden said. "Now I can recommend specific titles that I find meaningful."

His first book recommendation is "Rogue State: A Guide to the World's Only Superpower", by William Blum and published in 2000. More

Americans are so stupid that a college education can not remedy it

You may have noticed the increasing number of stupid people found in most American cities and towns, but dismissed them with the thought that they were dropouts from education. That may not be so.

There is a high probability that the stupid person that is annoying you so much has a college degree. All those years of education, and being given certification that they learned something, could be useless. They may lack the basic skills to balance a checkbook, understand a credit card offer or read a passage of literature and understand what it means. More

Bush brain tapped to jump start Sharon brain

An emergency procedure was planned for this week to use George Bush's brain to jumpstart the brain of Israeli leader Ariel Sharon.

"Their brainwaves are remarkably similar", said doctor Yuval Peretz of Tel Aviv hospital. "We can hook them up and amplify the Bush EEG, thus boosting the Sharon brain into a start position." More

When Cops trade donuts and coffee for alcohol...

It gets ugly. Very ugly. Better to give them un unlimited supply of coffee, on the house. More

Top Ten Rejected Titles For 'Brokeback Mountain

10. "Bareback Mountin'"
9. "How The West Was Hung"
8. "Little Bathhouse on the Prairie"
7. "For a Few Dollars More We Can Make It a Threesome"
6. "Go West, Young Man...Now South..A Little More To The South... Oh God, Yes! Right There!"
5. "Butch Cassidy and the Smooth Boi"
4. "Homo On The Range"
3. "Broke My Back Mounting Him"
2. "Oklahomo"
1. "Fun With Dick In James"

Hookup for Condoleezza Rice NEW! Your submitted candidates!

Condoleezza Rice has gone to Russia and made statements that were disagreeable to Russian political leader Vladimir Zhirinovsky. He responded with a blistering attack, aimed at her feminine attributes.

"...she is a single woman who has no children. She loses her reason because of her late single status. Nature takes it all", Zhirinovsky said.

"Condoleezza Rice needs a company of soldiers. She needs to be taken to barracks where she would be satisfied. On the other hand, she can hardly be satisfied because of her age. This is a complex."

His tirade continues, but StaggerOn.org plans to fight back! More

Anti-Gay Pastor caught cruising for male "services"

OKLAHOMA CITY -- A pastor who has spoken out against homosexuality was arrested after propositioning a male undercover police officer outside a hotel, authorities said.

Claiming he was in the area "pastoring to police", the Rev. Lonnie Latham, 59, was booked into Oklahoma County Jail. More

WalMart offers special iPod, made of meat

If you got a Video iPod for the holidays this year, you should be thanking your lucky stars it didn’t come from the Hawaiian Keeaumoku Wal-Wart.

Rachel Cambra, a mom and an employee of that Wal-Mart store, gave her son a Christmas gift which she believed to be a Video iPod she had put on layaway. It turned out to be a wrapped-up piece of meat, about as useful as a 10 gig tenderloin. More

Who is Ann Coulter? Mysterious origins of crazy Annie

One mystery that has had us baffled for quite a while concerns the origins of Ann Coulter. Sure, she has an official bio and backstory, but the problem is that we can find no one to come forward and admit something like, "Oh yeah, we went to law school together and she was a very intense scholarly girl back then", or any such account. We got nothing.

But there is one amazing possibility no one else has considered, until now. More

Cheney suffers 117th heart attack, in recovery

Secret Location - Co-president Dick Cheney suffered his 117th heart attack recently at an undisclosed time.

"He just wheezed, gurgled and just sorta fell over", an unnamed source said. Cheney was immediately rushed to a facility staffed with "people who can make him go", the source reported. . More

Woman apprehended in cheesy murder plot

A Tennessee woman wanted money for modeling school, and decided to get it the easy way. Thinking a block of cheese was cocaine, she hired a hit man to kill the cheese owners.

Then things got really ugly. More

Arkansas man attempts to occupy White House, bypasses election

WASHINGTON -- Having had enough cleaning up the mess from the last Arkansas man who made it into the White House, the Secret Service immediately arrested the most recent man from Arkansas trying to occupy that venerable structure by scaling the fence.

Secret Service spokesman Jonathan Cherry, who identified the jumper as Shawn Cox, said Cox was being charged with unlawful entry.

Cherry said that Cox has previously come to the attention of the Secret Service, without providing further details.

Mr. Cox scaled the fence surrounding the White House yesterday while President George W. Bush was inside and was immediately apprehended by the Secret Service. More

Believed that Chelsea Clinton still lived at the White House, and that he was destined to marry her. More

Mall shows "Grinch" like holiday spirit to 4 year old girl

A mall in Massachusetts issued an apology after a 4-year-old girl was apparently told she was not allowed to sit on Santa's lap unless she purchased a $21 picture of the meeting, according to a Local 6 News report. More

Jail is a really really bad place. Honest.

In New Zealand, Rape Crisis has reacted with horror and disgust to some Auckland billboards. The A-class.co.nz signs depict a prison shower scene, with a bar of soap covered in blood. The tagline is 'Because jail sux'. More

Separated at Birth?

Gone in 60 seconds: Man stole car with no brakes

A Russian thief did not get very far after he stole a car from a repair shop - without realising the brakes had been removed.

The 24-year-old had taken the broken Nissan Primera from the garage in southern Moscow and tried to make a quick getaway. He survived the escapade, so did not make it to a Darwin award, but on this career path he could be a great contender. More

Male brothel opens to service women

Edmonds, Washington - A brothel has opened in this northwestern U.S. city featuring men who service women, and it is perfectly legal.

"Traditional brothels and escort services have offered what men want, which is an attractive woman to have sexual relations with them", said Marcy Park, owner of the What Womyn Want brothel.

"American women want attractive men too." More

BUSTED: Congressman Randy "Duke" Cunningham
Vote for terror war was purchased by defense contractor
How many other votes did they buy?

Shedding phony tears for the camera, Congressman Randy "Duke" Cunningham (R-CA) resigned from Congress Monday morning after pleading guilty to conspiring to take bribes in exchange for using his influence to help a defense contractor get business.

"I was not strong enough to face the truth," Cunningham said in a news conference outside the federal courthouse, his voice breaking. "The truth is I broke the law, concealed my conduct and disgraced my office." More

The latest scandal involved a defense contractor who bought his home for an inflated value, enabling him to buy a mansion in Rancho Santa Fe.

In service to God?

"We, his remaining friends, have spent the last day with Duke praying and talking about a new chapter in Duke's life, a chapter of service to God," Rep. Duncan Hunter (R-El Cajon) said.

Cunningham is pictured here expounding on moral issues with televangelist Paul Crouch of TBN.

Mr. Crouch, and his wife Jan, are the TBN version of Jim and Tammy Faye Baker knock offs.

A list of some of the loot he raked in. Here

Betrayed his colleagues.

Obtained a yacht, the "Duke-Stir" from a defense contractor and had it docked at a yacht club in Washington DC for which he obtained $3 million in federal funds for waterfront development.

Although Cunningham favored the death penalty for drug dealers, he lobbied for a much lighter sentence for his son, who was caught flying in 400 pounds of Marijuana bricks (worth $200,000.00) in a twin-engine plane, then selling the pot to two other men. (San Diego Union-Tribune. 18 November 1998)

Teachers charged for using appliances in school

St Paul, MN - Teachers in budget-stressed schools are accustomed to shelling out for paper, glue and pencils. But the staff here wasn't ready for this: a new fee for having coffee makers, microwaves and refrigerators in classrooms and offices.

While school districts around the country are placing limits on personal appliances in an attempt to hold down energy costs, St. Paul's pay-for-plug approach appears to be unique. Interim Superintendent Lou Kanavati described the $25 per appliance annual fee as one in a series of steps to save money. He said the district's energy costs this year could exceed $6 million -- far more than the $3.6 million officials budgeted for.

District bean counters, while good intentioned, have not thought through the unintended consequences of this policy. Power costs recouped may be more than offset by lost time as teachers walk to the lounge to get coffee and food. Some teachers may evade costs by smuggling appliances into school and using them clandestinely.

Notably, the district did not announce a policy of reimbursing teachers for energy costs of computers and lighting at home incurred preparing lesson plans, scheduling, and grading papers. By charging teachers for energy costs, they accept on principle that they should also reimburse them. More

Parents gone bad! - Deliberately expose their children to dangerous infections - Pox parties

After centuries of climbing up from ignorance of disease, and developments in science to advance health, many parents today are taking leave of their senses and engaging in a dangerous practice of deliberately exposing their children to an infectious disease. They claim they follow this practice in order to develop immunity, but the science differs from their urban legend driven theories. More

Lego Thief in Oregon sells his loot in online auctions

A 40-year-old man has been arrested for stealing Legos from several Target stores in Oregon.

William Swanberg was indicted by a Washington County grand jury on theft charges.

Police say Swanberg had been selling the stolen Legos on a Web site called "bricklink.com" a site that is similar to eBay, except it's only for Legos. More

Karl Rove relocated to office building far from White House

Washington D.C. - Presidential advisor Karl Rove has been relocated to a new office, in a building far from his former White House office. Read this staggeron.org exclusive here. More

Jean-Claude Van Damme to lead North Korean defense?

North Korea (GP) With no indications that he was suffering from delusions, son of North Korean leader Kim Jong Il, Kim Jong Chol has proposed that North Korea's defence should be headed by Hollywood star Jean-Claude Van Damme.

Kim Jong Chol has reportedly been dismissed by his father as "too girlish" to rule the country, but is a leading contender as his elder brother is currently in self-imposed exile in Europe.

He was reportedly inspired by Van Damme's terrorist-busting performance in 1995 film 'Sudden Death'. There are no confirmed reports that Kim Jong Chol has any desire to enlist the aid of California governor Arnold Schwartzenegger. More

Bird flu syptoms

The Center for Disease Control has released a list of symptoms of bird flu. If you experience any of the following, please seek medical treatment immediately:

1. High fever

2. Congestion

3. Nausea

4. Fatigue

5. Aching in the joints

6. An irresistible urge to crap on someone's windshield

Bush Decision Making Process - Explained Here

Harriet confesses "We are drinking buddies"

Also explains motives for nomination to Supreme Court, details of relationship with Bush

Washington (IPI) In a surprise press conference, former Supreme Court nominee Harriet Miers spoke up about details of her relationship with President George W. Bush. With an amazing degree of candor, Ms. Miers explained some of the motivations for the President to nominate her to the high court. Read the details

Enviromentalists decry Martian global warming

A spokesman for a Martian environmentalist group blamed the global warming of that planet on human activity.

Since 1999, observations of the nearby red planet have provided data supporting evidence that it is undergoing a phase of global warming. More

Bill Clinton proposes Business opportunity with Nigerians

Former U.S. President Bill Clinton has been very busy since leaving office.

Using the unique resources available as a former president, he has turned his talents of persuasion to raising investment funds from an unlikely source: Nigerian citizens.

Peggy Ngomo, of Lagos, was offered a business opportunity by Mr. Clinton.

"Yes, it was a very attractive offer, praise God, and he seemed so sincere", Ms. Ngomo reported. But she was not able to follow through on her end of the partnership.

"He kept wanting me to send him more money, and more money", she said, "and he said it was needed to file paperwork to free up my share of the investment."

It is estimated that several thousand Nigerians have been offered a business opportunity similar to what Ms. Ngomo received. StaggerOn.org has obtained documents that detail his business offer, and one can be found here. View It

Bush Presidents seen fishing in New Orleans flood water

Presidents George H., and George W. Bush were seen fishing in the New Orleans flood water on Tuesday.

Both men were aboard a fishing boat, motoring down the flooded streets and trolling for freshwater fish. More

British bank bans piggy banks, offensive to Muslims

Some Britsh banks are banning piggy banks because they may offend some Muslims. Halifax and NatWest banks have led the move to scrap the time-honoured symbol of saving from being given to children or used in their advertising, the Daily Express/Daily Star group reports here.

Muslims do not eat pork, as Islamic culture deems the pig to be an impure animal.

You may no longer "bring home the bacon" or "live high on the hog" if this trend keeps underway. More

Getting Mooned By Mars

In the years since the Viking probes sent back photos of the surface of Mars, some controversy has surrounded the images. Many believe they show a humanoid face carved into stone on the Martian surface. Photos taken since then by more advanced probes have not settled the question. However, the most recent photos from the European Space Agency probe showl in clear detail a large pair of buttocks sculpted on the Martian surface. More

Mr. Bill knew, Mr. Bush didn't

Hello. My name is Mr. Bill. I knew that New Orleans was in danger from a hurricane and flooding for many years. I even made a video of it with my friends. See what I knew and the president did not know. More

Castro seeks White House

In the wake of a U.S. Supreme Court ruling that promoting private enterprise that promises sales-tax windfalls for municipal coffers is a "public use" protected by the U.S. Constitution, Cuban leader Fidel Castro has filed suit to purchase the White House and turn the property into an amusement park. More

Bush Twins Enlist!

Crawford Texas-(UP) In an apparent move to shore up support for his war in Iraq, George Bush's twin daughters, Barbara and Jenna, have enlisted in the army.

"Let's kick some terrorist butt!" Jenna says. More

Drug warriors incompetent, losing battles, wasting money

Policy makers and legislators who wage the so-called War on Drugs have serious brain damage. One of their common schemes to mask their failure to rid the nation of illicit drugs is to arrest people whe have common household items that might be used to manufacture drugs. It no longer matters if actual drugs are involved. That would be too bothersome.

Here are details of a recent shakedown by federal thugs. More

Big Mac and Zyklon B to go!

Not one to let a great marketing opportunity to pass by, Ronald McDonald has built a burger franchise within a kilometer of the Nazi concentration camp, Dachau. Any attempt to lure the concentration camp visitors into town incites accusations of exploiting the 30,000 who died in the camp. The skin certainly prickles at the thought of the vulgar flyers that were slipped under the windscreen wipers of cars parked outside the camp in 1996: "Dear visitor, welcome to Dachau, welcome to McDonald's. Our restaurant's got 120 seats, about 40 outdoor seats and for our young guests an Indoor and Outdoor Playland. How to find us? Really simple. Just follow the picture! We're happy for your visit! Your McDonald's Restaurant, Dachau." The din of outrage that followed the distribution of these flyers was heard even at McDonald's headquarters in Chicago. A formal apology was swiftly made by the chief executive of McDonald's Germany to the head of the country's Jewish community. More

Your baby is a terror suspect!

Homeland Security says your cute little baby is a threat to national security. More

Russian spammer beaten to death, 70 million suspects

Vardan Kushnir, notorious for sending spam to each and every citizen of Russia who appeared to have an e-mail, was found dead in his Moscow apartment on Sunday, Interfax reported Monday. He died after suffering repeated blows to the head. You are one of the suspects. I am too. More

Shocking Saddam Hussein investigation reveals he is a Mexican

A recent investigation geared at building evidence for a trial against Saddam Hussein has revealed that he is, in fact, a Mexican.

"This puts a whole new spin into our case against him.", said assistant deputy prosecutor Gary Nebbing. "We plan to go ahead with all the original charges, and are looking at possibilies to add more charges that will assure he never hangs his sombrero in another palace again." More

Democrats contrive method to steal money

The Democratic Party, in an effort to suck cash out of unsuspecting dimwitted victims, have begun issuing so called "Democracy Bonds". Promising such howlers as to "Reform the political process by building a political party beholden only to the people, not the special interests", and to "Win elections in every state and territory of the United States, at every level of office", the bonds are sold on the Democratic Party web site. Prospective victims of this scheme are invited to check an initial amount, starting at $20, and pledge to donate that amount every month. Checked amounts go up to $125 and there is a place on the form to specify other, even greater amounts. The form includes a field that enables someone lured in by this scheme to check to make monthly contributions in the amount they specify, and have it automaticly charged to their credit card. There is no provision for issuing a refund if the Democratic Party fails to perform the promised services. When questioned about the legality of this scheme, SEC officials failed to respond. More

Bush Collides with Al Qaeda while on bicycle

In a stunning development, President Bush has collided with an Al Qaeda member while on a bicycle ride.

"We have captured a major operative in the Al Qaeda network", said presidential spokeshole Baxter Fitzroy, "and we expect him to provide much needed intelligence to this administration.". More

Ralph Nader called on the carpet for racial slur

If Ralph Nader doesn't stop dropping the N-bomb, Al Sharpton is going to wash out his mouth with soap. "I felt like a [n-word]," remarked the 70-year-old white multimillionaire graduate of Princeton University and Harvard Law School. More

Double dose of Pussy

Oregon kitten born with two faces, and, hopefully, at least nine lives. Gemini was born Sunday with two mouths, two tongues, two noses and four eyes. More

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