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Away all Your Money Santa's Butt Beer Banned in Maine
In what its staff attorney called a case of government censorship, the MCLU on Thursday sued the Maine Bureau of Liquor Enforcement in federal court over the agency’s refusal to let a specialty beer distributor sell three imported brews because their labels were deemed "undignified and improper." One beer features Santa Claus on its label, while the others feature artwork that includes depictions of bare-breasted women. "There is no good reason for the state to censor art,
even art found on a beer label," Zachary Heiden, staff attorney for
the MCLU, said Thursday in a news release announcing the lawsuit. "Artistic
expression is entitled to the highest level of protection under the
First Amendment." More
Beware of Bad Santas
The draw of the event is obvious: If perpetuating the
Santa Claus scam is a way of preserving childhood, then perpetrating
Santacon is a way of reclaiming immaturity. The Kringle mobsters, who
address one another only as 'Santa' (and answer most questions that
way, too), hand out candy to the kids and sex toys to the grownups.
More
WalMart Bans Delivery Guy For Looking Like Osama
Brufani is suing Walmart to let him deliver his chips. In a press release, Walmart said Brufani's allegations
were unfounded. The retailer alluded to a company dress code, though
it didn't say how Brufani might have violated it, or how the dress code
applied to a potato chip delivery person. More
Sexy Halloween styles for girls frighten adults
Halloween hasn’t changed much for boys: Gory get ups and monster masks still sell. But in the last few years costumes for girls have traded silly and sweet for skimpy and sexy. It’s gotten so bad, one mother on an Internet bulletin board suggested renaming the holiday Dress Like a Prostitute Day. "That’s an awful thing to say," the woman wrote. "But that’s what some of these costumes look like to me." Many blame pop culture. Racy television shows and music
videos teem with images of teenage girls. Child beauty pageants feature
questionable costumes, while corporations make billions selling sexy
products to girls too young to understand their significance. More
Killer Teddy Bear slaughters 2500
This killer bear has been implicated in 2,500 deaths. Of trout, that is. State officials say a teddy bear dropped into a pool at a Fish and Game Department hatchery earlier this month clogged a drain. The clog blocked the flow of oxygen to the pool and suffocated the fish. Hatcheries supervisor Robert Fawcett said the bear is believed to be the first stuffed bear to cause fatalities at the facility. "We've had pipes get clogged, but it's usually with
more naturally occurring things like a frog or even a dead muskrat,"
he said. "This one turned out to be a teddy bear and we don't know how
it got there." More
Crikey! Steve Irwin 'Crocodile Hunter' killed by stingray
Irwin, 44, died after being struck in the chest by the stingray's barb while he was filming a documentary in Queensland's Great Barrier Reef. Irwin's friend of 20 years, Ferre De Deyne said Irwin had been struck by the stingray while filming. "The stingray just happened to be swimming around and out of the blue whacked his tail at him," he said. More than 500 million people knew of Irwin, with his
programs screened in more than 130 countries.
More
"Crikey, mate. You're far safer dealing with crocodiles and western diamondback rattlesnakes than the executives and the producers and all those sharks in the big MGM building." - Steve Irwin Pot Growing at Duluth Police Department
In Duluth that is evidently the case. Reporter Janna Goerdt, of the Duluth News Tribune, uncovered a dozen marijuana plants growing in western Duluth. The pot wasn't growing off an ATV trail. And she didn't
find it in the woods. Goerdt found the marijuana
growing in a planter near the front door of the West Duluth police substation.
More
StaggerOn Video Banned on YouTube
The video, which depicts Mexican flags and a sign with the racist phrase "La Raza" being set on fire, had been posted on the site in early June. It was removed from the site on June 26th. YouTube had alleged that the video had violated its terms of use, but was unable to specify what terms had been violated and what aspect of the video was in violation. User comments on the video were mostly positive. There were some negative comments, and some of them are included here in their entirety to show the level of dialog.
Although YouTube has banned the Mexican flag burning
video, you can still watch it on this site. See
the Video Terrorism, Global Warming, Poverty, Cheap Music
So now, among the talk of terrorism, poverty and global warming world leaders are going to be concerned with a website that sells music cheaper than the industry likes. Alleging that the music site is illegal, the BPI is
suing the website, claiming it is breaking UK law by selling music there
without the necessary licence. More
Chinese workers live and work in "iPod City"
According to a recent report about "iPod City," indentured servitude might not be a bad description of the working conditions inside the city-size Chinese factories that assemble the iPod nano and Shuffle. This is where the employees reportedly make about $50-a-month
and live in crowded dormitories as thanks for working 15-hour days.
More
Man Pays Speeding Ticket 52 Years Later
Park officials received a letter and a five-pound note this week from John Gedge, who's now 84 and living in a nursing home in East Sussex, England. Five pounds was worth about $14 in 1954, and about
$9 today. More
Norway dumps Wal-Mart stock
The ministry reported that it's excluding Wal-Mart Stores Inc, Wal-Mart de Mexico and Freeport McMoRan Copper and Gold Inc from the fund "in line with recommendations from the Council on Ethics for the Fund." Halvorsen's finance ministry officials cited "serious"
and "systematic violations of human rights and labour rights" as its
reason for pulling out of its Wal-Mart investments.
More
'Juan Valdez' picks his last coffee bean
Carlos Sanchez, the actor who has portrayed Juan Valdez,
has promoted Colombian coffee since 1969 with a leather bag, bushy mustache
and straw hat typical of rural Colombia. That Juan Valdez trademark
has become one of the world's most recognizable, and the fictional figure
has become one of the most famous Colombians of all time.
More
Spud Wars - Episode 9: A New Franchise
Star Trek meets Photoshop meets centerfolds
This is probably just a stereotype, but one Trekkie obviously has a LOT of time on his hands A blogger who identifies himself as "TrekMaster" has an entire gallery of attractive well endowed women who he has photo-manipulated into costumes one might find in a Star Trek episode or movie. TrekMaster takes some artistic license with the idea,
but it is definitely in keeping with the spirit of Star Trek. Starting
with the very first episode, exotic women in skimpy costumes has been
a staple of the series. More
Proof of Global Warming
Canada Post rejects topless stamps
Photographer Frederick Potter said he was excited to learn Canada Post offers a service that allows people to customize and order stamps by using their own photographs. But when some artistic shots of his Ukrainian-born wife Oleanna Potter topless, and one with Maple Leaf flags covering her breasts, were rejected as inappropriate, Frederick said he was baffled. ‘It’s arbitrary censorship,’ he said. ‘Would a picture of a baby on a bearskin rug be considered child pornography? Where does it end? Having Oleanna on a postage stamp is kind of a celebration
of her becoming a Canadian.” More
Gas station sued for prices being too cheap
Pantry Incorporated owns a gas station in Gaffney. It sued in Cherokee County, alleging that Petro Express had kept prices at two of its Gaffney stations below cost. Consider that for a moment. A gas station raises its
prices so as to rake in more profit, and when a competitor does not
participate in the scheme, business will naturally move to them. So
they sue the competitor. It will be interesting to find a jury (outside
of California) that are dumb enough to rubber stamp that lawsuit. More
Did you ever eat a Pink Taco? Do you want cheese with it?
Sounding more strip club than cantina, the restaurant isn't coy about the double entendre. "(The name) came out of a dish (that's on the menu), but it's tongue-in-cheek. It was amusing, catchy," Pink Taco CEO Harry Morton said. "You've got to stand out from the rest of the crowd.". Mayor Mary Manross was so put off by the name, a slang term for vagina, that she asked its owner to change it. "I don't appreciate anything that offends more than
half the population," Manross said. "But he said no and heard my concern.
I really didn't want to see a business with that name opening anywhere
here." More
US marines offer Babylon apology
US forces built a helicopter pad on the ancient ruins and filled their sandbags with archaeological material in the months following the 2003 invasion. Colonel Coleman was chief of staff at Babylon when it was occupied by the First Marine Expeditionary Force. The 2,000 troops who were deployed there did immense damage as they set up camp amidst the ruins of old temples. A helicopter pad was constructed at the site. The vibration from landings led the roof of one building to collapse. Babylon's Hanging Gardens were among the Seven Wonders
of the Ancient World. More
Fruitcake from 1962 emerges
Lance Nesta has never much cared for the taste of fruitcake, so when his two aunts sent him one in November 1962 he stashed it away in his stuff and forgot about it. He still has it, after more than four decades. "I was in the Army in 1962 and stationed in Alaska
when my Mom told me that my two aunts were sending me a fruitcake for
Christmas," Nesta said. "She knew I hated the damn things, but she said
she didn’t have the heart to tell my aunts, who had already mailed it."
More
US Immigration Policy explained
This pictorial shows some of the key players and interests in the hope of shedding some light on the topic. Find out who gets in, why they get in, who benefits,
and what are some of the hidden agendas served by the policy in this
StaggerOn.org exclusive. More
Loompanics Books closes doors
Owning Loompanics has been the biggest thrill of my life – for 30 years I got to live my dream (and stick it to the man!). I want to thank everyone who made it possible: Our customers, authors, artists, reviewers, interviewers, vendors, and most of all, the super efficient Loompanics staff... ...and everyone who made it necessary! All the censors, prudes, prigs and pigs in the world, especially the U.S.A... I hoped this day would never come, but sales have been
steadily falling for several years, and we just can't keep the place
going any longer! Thank you one and all, for thirty fantastic years!
– Mike Hoy, Pres.. More
Easter Bunny booted from St. Paul city office
Tyrone Terrill, the city's human rights director, asked that the decorations be removed out of concern that it would offend non-Christians. Terrill failed to explain what a pagan symbol had to do with Christians, or how non-Christians would be offended by a non-Christian symbol. This left rational thinking people scratching their head wondering what the fuss was all about. Terrill also said no citizen had complained to him.
More
Stop time with your mind
But the rabbit-hole goes much deeper. Quantum physics
discovered that consciousness is entangled in matter in some inexplicable
ways; but other than the very fast, or very small, or very large, we
tend to assume our “ordinary” reality conforms more to the laws of Newton.
Simple cause and effect unfolding with clockwork constancy —well, it’s
time to shatter this assumption. Let’s stop time. More
Beer pours from kitchen faucet
David Hasselhoff accused of domestic battery
Actress Pamela Bach, 42, made the filing against Hasselhoff, 53, in the Los Angeles Superior Court, the court's website shows. Makes one wonder if Hasselhoff was listening to Yanni
CDs. More
Patriot Act passed, used to lock up US citizens, not terrorists
If you buy a cold
or allergy medicine, or pay off your credit card, you are a possible
enemy of the Bush regime, and you and will come under suspicion. Eventually
you may be able to clear your name. More
Music star Yanni arrested for domestic battery - Yanni's greatest hits?
The international New Age icon spent 12 hours at the Palm Beach County Jail before being released Friday afternoon. He did not have to post bond, but he is barred from contact with his girlfriend and is required to check in daily with court workers. Manalapan police were called to the home of the 51-year-old
musician - whose legal name is John Y. Christopher - late Thursday after
his girlfriend called 911 from a locked bathroom, according to a police
report. More
StaggerOn.org gets reviewed by Zeph Report
Zeph's website, the Zeph
Report, is home of his podcasts which include the Zeph Report and
Channel Z. He and his guests discuss current events from a spiritual
perspective, with commentary on news stories. One hour of his programming
is broadcast daily on shortwave, and includes taking calls from listeners.
Listen Rumsfeld wanted to hit Iraq after 9/11
Haliburton to be given $385M, disinformation campaign lauched to cover up what the funds are to be used for.
The purported reason for funneling all these funds to the company is to to supports it Immigration and Customs Enforcement facilities in the event of an emergency. This is unlikely, as the official Bush policy is that
illegal aliens are no longer considered "illegal". They are
to be given amnesty and mainstreamed into the economy. This disinformation
was manufactured to hide the real reason that Haliburton is being given
these funds, which is likely that Bush cronies are looting the public
treasury. More How the Cheney Shootergate scandal measures up The American press has been critical of "Deadeye Dick" Cheney for being slow to come to them with an explanation of his hunting accident in which he shot Austin attorney Harry Whittington. A look at the timelines of other public officials involved in incidents has shown that Cheney has been quicker to release information to the media than they have been. To keep the comparison fair, this will only include officials who are involved in incidents in their private lives, on their own time, and away from the execution of their public duties.
As seen in the chart, Cheney looks very forthright, when compared to other officials sampled. That does not negate his example of stupid handling of a firearm, which must certainly have the NRA scrambling for talking points to do some damage control. That said, we will now resume our harsh analysis of his execution of public duties, and criticism of his service to corporate interests at the expense of the public interest. John Kerry weighs in on shooting
If "Deadeye Dick" Cheney were a Democrat It was unfortunate that Dick Cheney had to go and shoot
a lawyer. Really. He gets a lot of criticism for waiting several hours
to tell the public about it. I wonder how it would be if he were a Democrat,
would he have spoken up any quicker? This items looks at that possibility.
More Hurricane Katrina relief funds spent on porn by anti-porn Bush administration
Tens of millions of dollars of relief money for Hurricane
Katrina was squandered in scams and poorly thought out projects, US
government auditors reported yesterday. More
Minutemen protest in California
A group affiliated with the Minutemen Project chose
a corner of a busy street where day laborers congregate to hold a protest
of illegal immigration. Another group opposing the Minutemen, and thus
supporting illegal immigration, protested in an area around the corner,
with sheriff's deputies in riot gear staged between the two groups.
More
Watch
video of this event
12
MB
Identity theft problem was created by the government
It was a 1996 federal law that makes the availability
of federal welfare funds contingent upon states collecting SSNs to assist
in the enforcement of child support laws. One little problem though.
This made IDENTITY THEFT really easy. More
Al Lewis "Grandpa Munster" dead at age 82 or 95 The actor was widely reported to have been born
in 1910, but his son Ted Lewis said Saturday that his father was
born in 1923.. More
Parrot tells owner of cheating girlfriend Taylor grew suspicious of his live-in girlfriend when his pet parrot began to imitate her saying, “I love you, Gary.” Things seems very odd to Taylor when Ziggy, an 8-year-old
African gray parrot, would also make kissing noises whenever the name
Gary was mentioned on TV. Ziggy would also mimic Suzy Collins saying,
“Hiya, Gary,” every time she answered her mobile phone. More
Now, she qualifies as an ''Alien of Extraordinary Ability'' -- but that legal designation may not be enough to get her back into the United States. This would be a real shame, as she has the ability to
really put the "Guest" into the term "guest worker program". More
Osama bin Laden to start Book of Month club
"I have always been a strong supporter of literacy, especially Koran reading", bin Laden said. "Now I can recommend specific titles that I find meaningful." His first book recommendation is "Rogue State: A Guide
to the World's Only Superpower", by William Blum and published in 2000.
More Americans are so stupid that a college education can not remedy it
There is a high probability that the stupid person that
is annoying you so much has a college degree. All those years of education,
and being given certification that they learned something, could be
useless. They may lack the basic skills to balance a checkbook, understand
a credit card offer or read a passage of literature and understand what
it means. More
Bush brain tapped to jump start Sharon brain
"Their brainwaves are remarkably similar", said doctor
Yuval Peretz of Tel Aviv hospital. "We can hook them up and amplify
the Bush EEG, thus boosting the Sharon brain into a start position."
More When Cops trade donuts and coffee for alcohol... It gets ugly. Very ugly. Better to give them un unlimited
supply of coffee, on the house. More
Top Ten Rejected Titles For 'Brokeback Mountain
10. "Bareback Mountin'" Hookup for Condoleezza Rice NEW! Your submitted candidates!
"...she is a single woman who has no children. She loses her reason because of her late single status. Nature takes it all", Zhirinovsky said. "Condoleezza Rice needs a company of soldiers. She needs to be taken to barracks where she would be satisfied. On the other hand, she can hardly be satisfied because of her age. This is a complex." His tirade continues, but StaggerOn.org plans to fight
back! More Anti-Gay Pastor caught cruising for male "services"
Claiming he was in the area "pastoring to police", the
Rev. Lonnie Latham, 59, was booked into Oklahoma County Jail.
More
WalMart offers special iPod, made of meat
Rachel Cambra, a mom and an employee of that Wal-Mart
store, gave her son a Christmas gift which she believed to be a Video
iPod she had put on layaway. It turned out to be a wrapped-up piece
of meat, about as useful as a 10 gig tenderloin. More
Who is Ann Coulter? Mysterious origins of crazy Annie
But there is one amazing possibility
no one else has considered, until now. More
Cheney suffers 117th heart attack, in recovery
"He just wheezed, gurgled and just sorta fell over",
an unnamed source said. Cheney was immediately
rushed to a facility staffed with "people who can make him go",
the source reported. .
More
Woman apprehended in cheesy murder plot A Tennessee woman wanted money for modeling school, and decided to get it the easy way. Thinking a block of cheese was cocaine, she hired a hit man to kill the cheese owners. Then things got really ugly.
More
Arkansas man attempts to occupy White House, bypasses election Secret Service spokesman Jonathan Cherry, who identified the jumper as Shawn Cox, said Cox was being charged with unlawful entry. Cherry said that Cox has previously come to the attention of the Secret Service, without providing further details. Mr. Cox scaled the fence surrounding the White House
yesterday while President George W. Bush was inside and was immediately
apprehended by the Secret Service. More
Believed that Chelsea Clinton still lived at the White
House, and that he was destined to marry her. More
Mall shows "Grinch" like holiday spirit to 4 year old girl
Jail is a really really bad place. Honest. In New Zealand, Rape Crisis has reacted with horror
and disgust to some Auckland billboards. The A-class.co.nz
signs depict a prison shower scene, with a bar of soap covered in blood.
The tagline is 'Because jail sux'.
More
Separated at Birth?
Gone in 60 seconds: Man stole car with no brakes
The 24-year-old had taken the broken Nissan Primera
from the garage in southern Moscow and tried to make a quick getaway.
He survived the escapade, so did not make it to a Darwin award, but
on this career path he could be a great contender.
More
Male brothel opens to service women
"Traditional brothels and escort services have offered what men want, which is an attractive woman to have sexual relations with them", said Marcy Park, owner of the What Womyn Want brothel. "American women want attractive men too."
More
BUSTED:
Congressman Randy "Duke" Cunningham Shedding phony tears for the camera, Congressman Randy "Duke" Cunningham (R-CA) resigned from Congress Monday morning after pleading guilty to conspiring to take bribes in exchange for using his influence to help a defense contractor get business. "I was not strong enough to face the truth," Cunningham said in a news conference outside the federal courthouse, his voice breaking. "The truth is I broke the law, concealed my conduct and disgraced my office." More The latest scandal involved a defense contractor who bought his home for an inflated value, enabling him to buy a mansion in Rancho Santa Fe.
"We, his remaining friends, have spent the last day with Duke praying and talking about a new chapter in Duke's life, a chapter of service to God," Rep. Duncan Hunter (R-El Cajon) said. Cunningham is pictured here expounding on moral issues with televangelist Paul Crouch of TBN. Mr. Crouch, and his wife Jan, are the TBN version of Jim and Tammy Faye Baker knock offs.
A list of some of the loot he raked in. Here Betrayed his colleagues. Obtained a yacht, the "Duke-Stir" from a defense contractor and had it docked at a yacht club in Washington DC for which he obtained $3 million in federal funds for waterfront development. Although Cunningham favored the death penalty for drug dealers, he lobbied for a much lighter sentence for his son, who was caught flying in 400 pounds of Marijuana bricks (worth $200,000.00) in a twin-engine plane, then selling the pot to two other men. (San Diego Union-Tribune. 18 November 1998) Teachers charged for using appliances in school
While school districts around the country are placing limits on personal appliances in an attempt to hold down energy costs, St. Paul's pay-for-plug approach appears to be unique. Interim Superintendent Lou Kanavati described the $25 per appliance annual fee as one in a series of steps to save money. He said the district's energy costs this year could exceed $6 million -- far more than the $3.6 million officials budgeted for. District bean counters, while good intentioned, have not thought through the unintended consequences of this policy. Power costs recouped may be more than offset by lost time as teachers walk to the lounge to get coffee and food. Some teachers may evade costs by smuggling appliances into school and using them clandestinely. Notably, the district did not announce a policy of reimbursing
teachers for energy costs of computers and lighting at home incurred
preparing lesson plans, scheduling, and grading papers. By charging
teachers for energy costs, they accept on principle that they should
also reimburse them. More
Parents gone bad! - Deliberately expose their children to dangerous infections - Pox parties After centuries of climbing up from ignorance of disease,
and developments in science to advance health, many parents today are
taking leave of their senses and engaging in a dangerous practice of
deliberately exposing their children to an infectious disease. They
claim they follow this practice in order to develop immunity, but the
science differs from their urban legend driven theories. More
Lego
Thief in Oregon sells his loot in online auctions William Swanberg was indicted by a Washington County grand jury on theft charges. Police say Swanberg had been selling the stolen Legos
on a Web site called "bricklink.com" a site that is similar to eBay,
except it's only for Legos. More
Karl
Rove relocated to office building far from White House Jean-Claude
Van Damme to lead North Korean defense? Kim Jong Chol has reportedly been dismissed by his father as "too girlish" to rule the country, but is a leading contender as his elder brother is currently in self-imposed exile in Europe. He was reportedly inspired by Van Damme's terrorist-busting
performance in 1995 film 'Sudden Death'. There are no confirmed reports
that Kim Jong Chol has any desire to enlist the aid of California governor
Arnold Schwartzenegger.
More Bird flu syptoms The Center for Disease Control has released a list of symptoms of bird flu. If you experience any of the following, please seek medical treatment immediately:
Bush Decision Making Process - Explained Here
Also explains motives for nomination to Supreme Court, details of relationship with Bush Washington (IPI) In a surprise press conference, former
Supreme Court nominee Harriet Miers spoke up about details of her relationship
with President George W. Bush. With an amazing degree of candor, Ms.
Miers explained some of the motivations for the President to nominate
her to the high court. Read
the details
Enviromentalists decry Martian global warming
Since 1999, observations of the nearby red planet have
provided data supporting evidence that it is undergoing a phase of global
warming. More
Using the unique resources available as a former president, he has turned his talents of persuasion to raising investment funds from an unlikely source: Nigerian citizens. Peggy Ngomo, of Lagos, was offered a business opportunity by Mr. Clinton. "Yes, it was a very attractive offer, praise God, and he seemed so sincere", Ms. Ngomo reported. But she was not able to follow through on her end of the partnership. "He kept wanting me to send him more money, and more money", she said, "and he said it was needed to file paperwork to free up my share of the investment." It is estimated that several thousand Nigerians have been offered a business opportunity similar to what Ms. Ngomo received. StaggerOn.org has obtained documents that detail his business offer, and one can be found here. View It
Bush Presidents seen fishing in New Orleans flood water
Both men were aboard a fishing boat, motoring down the
flooded streets and trolling for freshwater fish. More
Muslims do not eat pork, as Islamic culture deems the pig to be an impure animal. You may no longer "bring home the bacon" or
"live high on the hog" if this trend keeps underway. More
Getting Mooned By Mars
Mr. Bill knew, Mr. Bush didn't
Castro seeks White House
Bush Twins Enlist!
"Let's kick some terrorist butt!" Jenna says.
More
Drug warriors incompetent, losing battles, wasting money Policy makers and legislators who wage the so-called War on Drugs have serious brain damage. One of their common schemes to mask their failure to rid the nation of illicit drugs is to arrest people whe have common household items that might be used to manufacture drugs. It no longer matters if actual drugs are involved. That would be too bothersome. Here are details of a recent shakedown by federal thugs.
More
Big Mac and Zyklon B to go!
Your baby is a terror suspect! Homeland Security says your cute little baby is a threat
to national security. More
Russian spammer beaten to death, 70 million suspects Vardan Kushnir, notorious for sending spam to each and
every citizen of Russia who appeared to have an e-mail, was found dead
in his Moscow apartment on Sunday, Interfax reported Monday. He died
after suffering repeated blows to the head. You are one of the suspects.
I am too. More
"This puts a whole new spin into our case against him.",
said assistant deputy prosecutor Gary Nebbing. "We plan to go ahead
with all the original charges, and are looking at possibilies to add
more charges that will assure he never hangs his sombrero in another
palace again." More
Democrats contrive method to steal money The Democratic Party, in an effort to suck cash out
of unsuspecting dimwitted victims, have begun issuing so called "Democracy
Bonds". Promising such howlers as to "Reform the political
process by building a political party beholden only to the people, not
the special interests", and to "Win elections in every state
and territory of the United States, at every level of office",
the bonds are sold on the Democratic Party web site. Prospective victims
of this scheme are invited to check an initial amount, starting at $20,
and pledge to donate that amount every month. Checked amounts go up
to $125 and there is a place on the form to specify other, even greater
amounts. The form includes a field that enables someone lured in by
this scheme to check to make monthly contributions in the amount they
specify, and have it automaticly charged to their credit card. There
is no provision for issuing a refund if the Democratic Party fails to
perform the promised services. When questioned about the legality of
this scheme, SEC officials failed to respond. More
Bush Collides with Al Qaeda while on bicycle
Double dose of Pussy Oregon kitten born with two faces, and,
hopefully, at least nine lives. Gemini was born Sunday with two mouths,
two tongues, two noses and four eyes.
More
|
For
you people who are bored with gambling in online casinos,
weary of hacking through the stilted English of Nigerian 419 scam operators,
and have no possible room for the latest "treasure" acquired
from eBay, there is a new painless way to depart with your worldly wealth.
Bangor,
ME - The Maine Civil Liberties Union wants Santa’s Butt in beer coolers
by Christmas.
Portland,
OR - If you find yourself in Portland this year you might be confronted
with the sight of 200 drunken Santas swarming
up West Burnside, swigging from Mr. Clean bottles and singing lewd perversions
of Christmas carols. A joyously anarchic combination of Bad Santa, Mardi
Gras, flashmob and peyote-eggnog hallucination, the bawdy barhop known
as Santacon is organized by the merry pranksters of the Cacophony Society
and has expanded to more than three dozen cities worldwide since it
first hit Portland 10 years ago.
A
Buenos Aires Walmart has banned potato chip delivery driver Oscar Brufani,
saying he looks too much like Osama Bin Laden.
Many
girls are dressing for Halloween in costumes that look like they are
turning tricks instead of seeking treats.
Milford,
N.H - Most teddy bears appear cute and cuddly, but one in New Hampshire
has brought destruction and loss of life.
Queensland, Australia - Australian naturalist and television
personality Steve Irwin has been killed by a stingray during a diving
expedition off the Australian coast.
Duluth, MN - There is a saying, that to get the best
drugs you must go see a cop.
A
video that was produced by StaggerOn.org was banned by the video sharing
site YouTube.
St.
Petersburg, Russia - The British recording industry lobbying group,
BPI, has written a letter urging the UK foreign secretary to make sure
that a discussion of AllofMP3.com will take place at the latest G8 summit.
In
much the same way that we'd rather not think about how the Big Macs
we eat were produced, we also often ignore the manner in which our favorite
gadgets are manufactured, because it's not as fun listening to tunes
when you consider that the person who put together your DAP could be
living like an indentured servant.
Philadelphia,
PA - A British man finally got around to paying a speeding ticket he
received in Philadelphia's Fairmount Park nearly 52 years ago.
Norwegian Finance Minister Kristin Halvorsen revealed
Tuesday that two new stocks will be banned from the country's so-called
"oil fund," which now is called the Norwegian Government Pension Fund
- Global and currently is worth about USD 250 billion. It ranks as one
of the biggest pension funds in the world.
BOGOTA, Colombia - After 37 years of schlepping around
sacks of coffee beans with his trusty mule, Conchita, Juan Valdez is
calling it quits
New
York - In this photo provided by Hasbro, the latest Star Wars
Mr. Potato Head character 'Artoo Potatoo' is shown for the first
time in Hasbro's showroom at the American International Toy Fair.
There is a stereotype of Star Trek fans (sometimes called
Trekkies) being socially awkward nerdy types whose social lives consist
of dressing up as characters fron the Trek universe.
CALGARY, Canada - Sultry personal postage stamp images
have been returned-to-sender by Canada Post, leaving a Calgary photographer
claiming his work is being censored. 
Greenville, SC - A South Carolina gas station has sued
saying that a competitor's lower per gallon prices at the pump have
caused them to lose profits.
Scottsdale,
Arizona - In a city aspiring to be defined by its good taste, a new
Mexican restaurant, the Pink Taco, is opening with a name that some
find offensive.
A senior US marine officer says he is willing to apologise
for the damage caused by his troops to the ancient Iraqi site of Babylon.
There
is a theory that there are only 5 fruitcakes in the world, and they
keep getting passed round as gifts. If that is true, then there are
now 6 fruitcakes in circulation.
U.S.
immigration policy can seem baffling to anyone on the outside looking
in.
Loompanics
Unlimited, publisher of fringe and countercultural books, is going out
of business due to declining sales. Statement from Loompanics owner:
A
petty official in St. Paul, MN removed a cloth Easter bunny, pastel-colored
eggs and a sign with the words "Happy Easter" from the City Hall lobby.
Einstein
demonstrated that time is relative.
Less
than a month after filing for divorce, David Hasselhoff's estranged
wife has filed for a court order on a claim of domestic violence by
the former Baywatch star.
Despite
reassurances from Bush aministration paid propagandists, the Patriot
Act is used to harass and annoy Americans, with almost no prosecution
of terrorists being done.
Music
superstar Yanni was arrested at his Manalapan home early Friday morning
after his girlfriend accused him of slapping and shaking her during
a late-night argument. 
Shortwave,
internet and podcast personality Zeph Daniel visited StaggerOn.org recently
and discussed the site with his co hosts Trish, and Frankie. Describing
the site as "iconoclastic" they viewed several articles and
items, while describing them to their audience.
Hours
after a commercial plane struck the Pentagon on September 11 2001 the
US defence secretary, Donald Rumsfeld, was issuing rapid orders to his
aides to look for evidence of Iraqi involvement, according to notes
taken by one of them. 
KBR,
the engineering and construction subsidiary of Halliburton Co. has been
awarded a contingency contract from the Department of Homeland Security.
While
U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales squanders law enforcement resources
to 
Two
groups arrived to face off in Vista, California recently.
For
many years states have required the collection of Social Security numbers
in order to issue a drivers license. Many people may not recall why
this is.
NEW
YORK - Al Lewis, the cigar-chomping patriarch of "The Munsters" whose
work as a basketball scout, restaurateur and political candidate never
eclipsed his role as Grandpa from the television sitcom, died after
years of failing health. He was 82.
LONDON
- Suzy Collins had been meeting ex-work colleague "Gary" for four months
in the Leeds flat she shared with her partner Chris Taylor, according
to reports.
Dorismar
-- aka Dora Noemi Kerchen -- has been many things: Playboy Playmate,
calendar pinup, performer at a Democratic National Convention party
and purveyor of sophisticated soft-core videos inspired by Girls Gone
Wild.
Osama
bin Laden has announced the start of his Book of the Month Club.
You
may have noticed the increasing number of stupid people found in most
American cities and towns, but dismissed them with the thought that
they were dropouts from education. That may not be so. 
An
emergency procedure was planned for this week to use George Bush's brain
to jumpstart the brain of Israeli leader Ariel Sharon.
Condoleezza
Rice has gone to Russia and made statements that were disagreeable to
Russian political leader Vladimir Zhirinovsky. He responded with a blistering
attack, aimed at her feminine attributes.
OKLAHOMA
CITY -- A pastor who has spoken out against homosexuality was arrested
after propositioning a male undercover police officer outside a hotel,
authorities said.
If
you got a Video iPod for the holidays this year, you should be thanking
your lucky stars it didn’t come from the Hawaiian Keeaumoku Wal-Wart.
One
mystery that has had us baffled for quite a while concerns the origins
of Ann Coulter. Sure, she has an official bio and backstory, but the
problem is that we can find no one to come forward and admit something
like, "Oh yeah, we went to law school together and she was a very
intense scholarly girl back then", or any such account. We got
nothing.
Secret
Location - Co-president Dick Cheney suffered his 117th heart attack
recently at an undisclosed time.
WASHINGTON
-- Having had enough cleaning up the mess from the last Arkansas man
who made it into the White House, the Secret Service immediately arrested
the most recent man from Arkansas trying to occupy that venerable structure
by scaling the fence.
A
mall in Massachusetts issued an apology after a 4-year-old girl was
apparently told she was not allowed to sit on Santa's lap unless she
purchased a $21 picture of the meeting, according to a Local 6 News
report. 
A
Russian thief did not get very far after he stole a car from a repair
shop - without realising the brakes had been removed.
Edmonds,
Washington - A brothel has opened in this northwestern U.S. city featuring
men who service women, and it is perfectly legal.
In
service to God?
St
Paul, MN - Teachers in budget-stressed schools are accustomed to shelling
out for paper, glue and pencils. But the staff here wasn't ready for
this: a new fee for having coffee makers, microwaves and refrigerators
in classrooms and offices.
A 40-year-old man has been arrested for stealing
Legos from several Target stores in Oregon. 
North Korea (GP) With no indications that
he was suffering from delusions, son of North Korean leader Kim Jong
Il, Kim Jong Chol has proposed that North Korea's defence should be
headed by Hollywood star Jean-Claude Van Damme.
1.
High fever
Harriet
confesses "We are drinking buddies"
A
spokesman for a Martian environmentalist group blamed the 
Former
U.S. President Bill Clinton has been very busy since leaving office.
Presidents
George H., and George W. Bush were seen fishing in the New Orleans flood
water on Tuesday. 
Some
Britsh banks are banning piggy banks because they may offend some Muslims.
Halifax and NatWest banks have led the move to scrap the time-honoured
symbol of saving from being given to children or used in their advertising,
the Daily Express/Daily Star group reports here.
In
the years since the Viking probes sent back photos of the surface of
Mars, some controversy has surrounded the images. Many believe they
show a humanoid face carved into stone on the Martian surface. Photos
taken since then by more advanced probes have not settled the question.
However, the most recent photos from the European Space Agency probe
showl in clear detail a large pair of buttocks sculpted on the Martian
surface. 
Hello.
My name is Mr. Bill. I knew that New Orleans was in danger from a hurricane
and flooding for many years. I even made a video of it with my friends.
See what I knew and the president did not know. 
In
the wake of a U.S. Supreme Court ruling that promoting private enterprise
that promises sales-tax windfalls for municipal coffers is a "public
use" protected by the U.S. Constitution, Cuban leader Fidel Castro has
filed suit to purchase the White House and turn the property into an
amusement park. 
Crawford
Texas-(UP) In an apparent move to shore up support
for his war in Iraq, George Bush's twin daughters, Barbara and Jenna,
have enlisted in the army.
Not
one to let a great marketing opportunity to pass by, Ronald McDonald
has built a burger franchise within a kilometer of the Nazi concentration
camp, Dachau. Any attempt to lure the concentration camp visitors into
town incites accusations of exploiting the 30,000 who died in the camp.
The skin certainly prickles at the thought of the vulgar flyers that
were slipped under the windscreen wipers of cars parked outside the
camp in 1996: "Dear visitor, welcome to Dachau, welcome to McDonald's.
Our restaurant's got 120 seats, about 40 outdoor seats and for our young
guests an Indoor and Outdoor Playland. How to find us? Really simple.
Just follow the picture! We're happy for your visit! Your McDonald's
Restaurant, Dachau." The din of outrage that followed the distribution
of these flyers was heard even at McDonald's headquarters in Chicago.
A formal apology was swiftly made by the chief executive of McDonald's
Germany to the head of the country's Jewish community. 
A
recent investigation geared at building evidence for a trial against
Saddam Hussein has revealed that he is, in fact, a Mexican.
In
a stunning development, President Bush has collided with an Al Qaeda
member while on a bicycle ride.